Synergy: Resistance (Synergy Series #2) [BWWM]

Chapter 2 'Mental Notes'

For Jason, the first few weeks with his newborn son flew by. There was a constant cycle of diaper changing, feeding and nap time that he found hard to keep up with. It seemed like a never ending cycle that was only interrupted by sleep, what little he got of it. While Dee had taken pleasure in accepting Jason's offers to wake up in the first week, she had then started to take her turn. However, while she could sleep during his turn, he couldn't do the same from his end.

Jason had been used to a hectic schedule from being a teenager, and sleep was never on the top of his 'to to' list. His mother had always told him 'you can sleep when you're dead' and that's something he always remembered. Sleep had never been something he'd missed; he only ever missed out on life. Dee however, had made it very clear how important sleep was to her, and knowing this, Jason found it hard to let her get up with the baby when he knew he couldn't sleep through the crying. He found himself getting up regardless, even though sometimes tending to baby Rio was a one person job, and half the time, he was just in the way.

Though Jason had been on some pretty amazing journeys in his short life, he had never been on one like this. While parts of his life had been a complete whirlwind, this had to top the list. He'd never known anything go by so quickly. Before he knew it, a new day had begun and he'd learn something new all over again. It was strange to him to suddenly be living as 'one big happy family.' He never thought all those months ago that after a one night stand he'd find himself living with a woman with a baby and practically a step son. He found it hard to tell other people about, because he knew how crazy it sounded when he said it out loud. Even in his own head it sounded crazy but it never for one moment felt wrong, though it was new and different.

It still hadn't sunk in that he was a father, and he sometimes had to mentally remind himself this was it from now on, he was a father forever. Though it was physically and mentally exhausting keeping up with a newborn, he wouldn't change it for the world, and he knew it could only get better. He loved the idea that one day his son would learn to speak, learn to walk, and go off to school. He couldn't wait to help him with his homework, teach him sports and teach him how to be a man.

Though he hadn't officially 'moved in', Jason found himself practically living with Dee and her son Tushaun. It was a strange experience for him. It felt like he had a ready-made family there waiting for him, without the years of getting to know them, dating and eventually moving in together. Everything had happened so fast and though Jason didn't regret his offer of buying her a home, he never intended to 'move in' per say. He still had two other homes of his own, one at home in Memphis, and another in New York. He didn't intend to give them up, and while his plan could have included going back and forth or staying in the Detroit hotel, it seemed silly when he and Dee were getting along so well. While it was never discussed, it happened naturally that they ended up living together.

Taking on someone else's child was never an intention of Jason's either. Though he knew Dee's ex was difficult, he never wanted to replace Tushaun's father. He himself had learned the hard way that his father may never be the man he wanted him to be, but his stepfather had picked up the slack, and for that he was forever grateful. However, neither his stepdad nor his mother had ever pushed him into his arms. They always wanted Jason to have his father too, though his father didn't always think the same way. He felt it was something he needed to learn for himself, and if this was the case with Tushaun and his own father, he wanted him to learn that himself too. He never wanted to be the reason a son didn't see his father.

Though he felt strongly about it, he also couldn't deny a bond with Tushaun was forming. From the first day he met the boy, Jason could tell he was going to get on well with him. Though he was young, he was smart for his age, and Jason loved to watch him playing and learning. He could see the cogs working in his brain and it fascinated him to see. As well as smart, he was a good kid too. Since he'd moved into the new house he'd only seen him 'be naughty' once, and even then, it subsided once Dee gave him 'that look.' Jason could tell despite everything, she'd done a good job raising him.

'That look' was something Jason was becoming accustomed to. It was the angriest look on a woman he had ever seen, and though he'd seen it a few times now, it didn't terrify him any less. It was like a time bomb waiting to go off, and he knew shit was about to go down if he didn't rectify the situation. However, over time, he was starting to tell which 'look' he could joke his way out of, and which one he should never invoke. It was all part of the process of getting to know each other, and though it was unconventional that they were still getting to know each other, Jason enjoyed it. It was the part of dating that he loved, the mystery of finding out who that person is, what makes them tick, what doesn't. What he loved about Dee especially was that she didn't give a lot away all at once, she was like a puzzle he had to work out, and just when he thought he'd predicted her reaction to something, he could still find himself wrong. It was what drew him to her in the first place. Sometimes it could be frustrating for Jason too, on days when he felt like he didn't know her any better than when they first met, but other days, he felt like he'd known her forever.

As the weeks passed, he started to make mental notes of the things he learned about her. Like how she didn't like to talk in the morning. He'd learnt that the hard way one morning when talking to her in bed, and while he thought they were both awake and ready to face the day, it appeared she could wake up and fall back to sleep within seconds, unlike Jason who was up for the day once he stirred. It resulted in a very angry expletive aimed his way when he tried to launch a full conversation. From that morning, he made sure she started all conversations first thing in the morning.

It was safe to say, Dee wasn't a morning person, not even a little, and Jason found it hard to deal with her attitude some mornings. A simple smile could be met with a frown and Jason didn't see how anybody could wake up so miserable. As well as little to no conversation, Dee wasn't really a breakfast person either, preferring chocolate biscuits with her morning tea or coffee as opposed to cereal or toast. Jason couldn't function without breakfast - it was something he'd learnt he needed with a schedule like his. Being busy meant you didn't always know when or if you'd get time for lunch, and he'd known too many people in the industry who'd ended up in hospital due to poor nutrition, dehydration and exhaustion. Breakfast was a must.

Being with Dee made Jason re-evaluate all his past relationships. He felt like he'd never felt this way about anybody before, though he'd claimed to be in love several times before. At the time, he really believed he was, but this was something different. He felt in awe of her, even as time went on. Most of his past relationships had ended because they'd simply grown bored of each other, drifted apart and moved on. He couldn't imagine ever being bored of Dee. He'd heard of people being infatuated before, and maybe he was infatuated with Dee, but that didn't take away the fact that he loved her too. He could feel it in his bones, and unlike typical infatuation, he couldn't see it being short lived.