"You can stop ignoring me now mom," I said as I walked into my house. "I didn't make the team."
My mom looked up from a magazine she was casually flipping through as I set my bag down on the ground. She stoof up from the couch and I could see the anger in her eyes.
"You what?"
"I got cut this afternoon. Guess I'm not even good enough to play third string."
She stared at me for what felt like hours before she finally spoke again.
"Maggie," she started. "I'm sorry I was so unsupportive at first. Your brother called me last night and got me to realize how much football means to you. But you didn't make it?"
"No, Harry Styles is starting. Big surprise."
"That boy again? Your father always said he would peak at 16, wash out by 18."
I laughed. "Well, he's defiitely still peaking."
"I don't understand this. Those three boys Hedge keeps around can't all be better than you."
I shrugged. "Coach just doesn't want to ruin his reputation by playing me."
My mom shook her head and opened her mouth but was cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. "I'll get that," she said disapperaring into the kitchen. "Mags, it's for you."
"I don't want to talk to anyone."
"It's from a boy and it isn't Jack. I already told him you were here Mags."
I sighed and pulled myself to my feet.
"Hello," I said flatly.
"Maggie? It's Jonathan. Jonathan Wright."
"Hi," I frowned wondering why he hadn't called my cell.
"Hey, I'm calling for a reason. I just wanted to let you know I quit the team after you left. I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else."
"What?" I said almost dropping the phone. "Why would you do that?"
"Because of what coach said after practice. He all but admitted you're better than Harry, the fact that you're a girl is the only reason you're not on the team right now."
"So you quit because of me?"
"No, I quit because I can't play someone who isn't the best. Don't say anything. I just wanted to let you know myself."
"But I feel like I should! I mean...thank you. I appreciate it. A lot."
"Okay, see you Monday, Maggie."
I put the phone back in it's cradle and stood there for a moment.
Maybe, just maybe, I was better than Harry Styles.
The way things were going these days, I had no way to tell.
**
The car ride home from my date with Matt was silent. I sat buckled in the passenger seat, not quite wanting to believe that tonight had really happened. Matt had been perfectly willing to talk football with me, but whenever there was another topic, he was ready to shut down and end the night.
"Thats was fun, Mags," he finally said and he pulled his car into my driveway. "Almost as fun as chilling with you during practice."
I smiled but I felt a lump rising in my throat. "Yeah," I said. "Too bad it's over."
"It doesn't mean we won't be friends Whitney."
"Yeah," I whispered. "Friends." I'm not going to lie, I had grown kind of attatched to Matt. I'd begun to think of him as someone I could see myself with in the future.
But maybe this was all for the best. Matt had what I wanted. He was a star at Pine Creek, he got to suit up and go on the field under the lights to the cheers of the crowd and play the sport that I loved. So, it was better to stay away...wasn't it?
"I'll see you Monday, okay?" he asked as I opened the passenger side door. I nodded again, startled he hadn't even walked me to the front door.
**
Saturday afternoon, I climbed the steps of Pine Creek's bleachers and watched them practice.
I sighed and sat down, staring up at the clouded gray sky, waiting for the rain to start falling.
Playing football had been all I ever wanted to do for eleven years. I'd lost my love of the game when I lost my father, but now I was back and ready to play again and no one would let me.
But wasn't there something that Matt had said last night? About Cedar Hill's football team?
I hadn't thought twice about it then, but now...
Cedar Hill High School. If I did manage to make the team there, what sweet, sweet revenge would that be. The Panthers were Pine Creeks biggest rivals. And playing for them would surely show Hedge what he's missing.
And what if I even managed to start for Cedar Hill?
My fantasy had begun to spiral out of control now.
Looking down at the field below me, I smiled a real smile, a warm brave of freedom washed over me for the first time since Hedge's announcement.
Maybe these were the best players at Pine Creek, but put me in a Panthers uniform, and I would stop at nothing to prove who could play football in New Jersey.
**
By the time I got home from the stadium, my excitement about Cedar Hill had begun to fade. It wasn't as realistic as the lump in my throat that was always there with a familiar sense of dread.
But I had to try. I knew that much. If I had to do it for anyone, I would do it for my dad.
I punched the ten digits into my cell phone and stared at it.
Not calling, I knew would be one of the biggest regrets of my life.
So I pressed the button.
After speaking with the head coach, Mr. Harrington, I'd secured myself a tryout with the Panthers.
I had to smile. I was in a better place now than I had been when I woke up this morning. I was finally doing something-anything-to keep football in my life. Even if I wound up never playing for another team again, at least I could say I tried.
I hadn't realized it before, but this opportunity for Cedar Hill, it was my second chance. And if anyone deserved one, I knew it was me.
I rubbed my head and turned off my light as I climbed in bed. I'd think more about this in the morning, but right now, I thought it was about time I ended a day happy.
