𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖓𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝕳𝖔𝖕𝖊

13

he, himself
episode: 13

tears began to pool her eyes as she touched it earnestly, wondering if it was ever real. y/n has never expected him to give her a real ring! reluctant to put it on as her vision started to get blurry.

"Why are you crying?" megumi asked, he had wondered why she kept weeping by herself, he swore he could
hear her sobs from the thin walls.

covering her eyes as toji looked at her, with her still on his lap. it had offered her comfort but still felt empty, wasn't this what she wanted?

"Why? is it not to your liking? I could buy another one" he said as y/n shook her head, slowly removing her hand from her eyes.

"i-i never thought you would buy me a ring" she stammered.

"didn't I give you a ring though? when we got married?" he recalled, looking up as he swallowed a fry.

"n-no, you left remember? y-you said the wedding was a waste of time" she responded.

toji's stomach stirred, guilt slowly snagging onto him for not remembering that drastic moment.
even megumi, sent him a disapproving look as toji coughed, trying to ease the tension released from his son but her answer did stir up some recollections about the event, how he had only given her a faux gold one. honestly, it was like an empty template, with no designs nor a diamond on it.

he, who stood dissociated was unable to hear the small compliments y/n gave the ring and his taste. she was in an anxious behavior to wear the ring, even if it was bought with half-assed intentions she didn't mind, now that she's gotten the attention of her husband, whom she claimed she lost love for, it's enough for her.

of course, she was conflicted over how she felt about him all over again, he was trying so hard to pursue her yet she kept on resisting his affection. perhaps, was she in the wrong? always persistently blaming him for the cause of her long-term suffering, was it possibly the outcome of being alone and closed off to the extent where she was in denial about her shortcomings for herself?

she will never conclude what was happening but seeing as it is now, it seemed like toji was her weakness. after years of masked devotion she could never come and reject him, finally realizing her worth only for toji to inflict chaos on her matter of significance.

was she in the wrong?

shutting her eyes as her grip on the ring was getting loose. toji, who captured her just in time as her head fell onto his shoulder, holding the ring as groans escaped from her pouted lips. whenever she would bug herself out like this, the aftermath was of course always harmful to her being.

overburdened with endless thoughts as she struggled to fight it, it was something beyond her control. getting engulfed by darkness wasn't new for how she would always invite it with a warm smile. she struggled to live by it yet it had already happened too much to the point where she found comfort within it and was now incapable of letting it go.

conceivably, dying was the last resort she could think of.

gently shaking her as y/n fought to respond. it was anti-climactic, to say the least, and a bit bizarre that this happened in front of them.

stirring awake gradually as she picked up on what's happening but quickly struck by a throbbing headache. recognizing toji and megumi, both who were sitting beside her, as a man in a white coat stood in front of her bed.

"y/n!" megumi exclaimed as toji rapidly handed her water, gratefully accepting it as she chugged it all down feeling the sharp pain go away as all that was left was a mild ache.

"well, I need to go then," the man said as toji nodded without shifting his attention from y/n.

staring at the ceiling as toji rubbed her fingers, as megumi climbed up and laid next to her. using her arm as a pillow, megumi shyly hugged her side. usually, y/n would be dazed by this but she was too tired to react but still appreciated his best efforts to comfort her.

"has this been going on?" toji suddenly spoke up as y/n remained silent, too surprised at the sudden confrontation.

slowly nodding as she picked strands of megumi's hair, frowning at the fact. toji had taught their relationship was gradually growing strong but felt betrayed by how she failed to announce it to him. he was aware he didn't have the right, after all those things he did to her, no wonder why she didn't tell him. she was used to being constantly declined thinking that talking wasn't even worth it anymore, making her uncomfortable at the thought of proper communication with each other.

"y/n please, tell me next time" he pleads, with a slightly whiny tone of voice.

bobbing her head up and down to reassure him next time, that is if her plans continue. toji couldn't understand the heaving pain he felt whenever y/n would get herself in danger, he was uncertain yet still. he looks at her differently than he used to before.

all those 4 months of taking care of her made him heartthrob, he was confident to say that the feeling wasn't lusting but it certainly wasn't love as well. how could he love another woman? but even he wasn't so sure anymore.

watching y/n and megumi align their hands, her delicate features wrinkling up as she smiled yet eyes so soulless. he learned he was the reason for this, and inside those three months of somewhat bonding, he had been ignoring her subconsciously almost like a defense mechanism from trying to bind himself to his wife.