Resonant

Chapter 4

Zale

"Mr. Knightley?"

I turned and found Astrea nervously biting his lip and staring down at the floor. "Yes?"

"I wanted to start a club, but it turns out all clubs need to have a faculty advisor. I was hoping you might do it?" Astrea peeked up at me for a second, then returned to staring downward.

My heart sank. So far, I had avoided taking on any extracurriculars at this school. It was a compromise I made with Lara when we put together my contract. All teachers here were expected to have extra duties – running study halls, sports teams, or other extracurriculars. Because that sounded like it might actually be a form of torture, I had offered to teach an extra class instead. It was more work overall, so it was a good deal for the school, and it let me avoid socializing. Win – win.

There was exactly one person on this entire campus who could get me to agree to taking on an extracurricular, and he had just asked me to.

Hell.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut while I took in a couple of deep breaths. "What kind of club?" I asked with my eyes still shut.

"Um, it's okay. Forget I asked."

I looked at Astrea again and he seemed even more nervous than before. "Hey, it's fine. I've got the time and I don't mind doing it" – much, I added silently – "I just want to know what it is."

But Astrea didn't look comforted at all. His eyes kept darting around, but I noticed that they kept landing on the open doorway. I shut the door and sat down on top of one of the lab tables. I had grown up having the importance of body language pounded into my head. Right now, I needed to make Astrea more comfortable. I couldn't loom over him, and sitting behind my desk would reinforce my position of authority over him as his teacher.

I didn't know if my sitting on a table helped, but Astrea sat down across from me and I thought he seemed a little more relaxed. Still anxious, though.

I had almost given up on Astrea giving me any kind of explanation for this when he spoke up again. "I asked Betty about whether we had an LGBTQ+ alliance club and she told me that we didn't, but I could start one. And she thought you might be a good person to talk to."

Oh. Oh. No wonder he was nervous. You never knew when someone was going to react badly to finding out you were different, and this particular kind of difference could be especially polarizing. And while I was kind of angry with Betty for suggesting he come to me with this – it did go against my agreement with the school, after all – I knew why she had. It was no secret I was gay. The few times I had gone to a social event here, it had been because Harlow dragged me there.

To alleviate Astrea's anxiety, I said "She had you come to me because I'm gay. Though I'm sure none of the teachers would give you a hard time about this." If they did, I would see to it that they very quickly weren't teachers here anymore. My mother might have no jurisdiction here, but no way would the school want to piss off a monarch over bigotry. It would mean giving up my anonymity, but I didn't care.

Surprised blue eyes met mine and he smiled for a second before his nerves visibly returned. "Promise not to tell?" he whispered.

"I swear, I won't betray your confidences."

Astrea's eyes darted to the door again. He licked his lips nervously and whispered, "I'm trans. I'm... I'm a girl."

I definitely stared too long, but it was only because I was kicking myself for being surprised. The first thing I ever learned about him was that he liked to go by a girl's name. Heck, even though I wasn't technically supposed to know it, I always thought of him as Astrea instead of Adras. It was a wonder I hadn't mixed up his name out loud yet. So I really shouldn't be surprised by this.