Mathematicians and Scientists (Saanvi×Ben)

Chapter 3: Family First

Ben

When I pull up at the house, I take a minute to sit there. I just feel so angry, but I know it's wrong. I was gone, presumed to be dead so of course Grace moved on. It's exactly what I would've wanted for her, had I really been dead.

I walk into the house to find my family meeting in the living room. There is dead silence when I walk over, and I know it can't be good. Grace looks saddened, Olive looks confused, and Cal is holding back tears. The silence is finally broken by Grace.

"Danny is coming over...He should be involved in whatever happens since it's his kid we're making decisions about. "

No! I want to scream, but that's unfair. Grace is right.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask Grace.

She nods her head and follows me into our room.

"Look Grace, you know I love you, but this is your choice. Danny is the father, and he is practically a father to Olive as well. If you think it is in the best interest of the family for him to be involved in our lives, I have no problem with that. No matter what you choose, I promise I won't blame you."

She just nods and I see the tears in her eyes. After a few minutes, she speaks.
"The truth is that I am still in love with Danny. There was a time when I truly loved you, but mourning you for 5 years made that love feel distant. I'm sorry, but it's not the same. I love him now, and I need this baby to grow up with his father around. I think it would be best if we got a divorce. Things have just changed too much, and it's too much stress."

"Grace, but what about the kids! Cal and I just got home! Olive needs her dad, and I can't leave Cal alone to try and figure out the callings. Please Grace. " 

I try to plead with her but really? A divorce?! It is so out of left field, I was not expecting it. We just need some time to think...

"No Ben, I can't do this. We can have split custody or whatever you need, but I can't sit here and pretend to love you like I used to. It's not fair to anyone. Danny is on his way over so we can talk. You should go. "

I can't process the words I am hearing. My wife, my true love wants me to leave. She wants a divorce? I imagined adding Danny to our lives, but no divorce. My head spins, and I walk downstairs.

The kids are waiting downstairs for me. They we're eavesdropping of course. They both wrap me into a hug and look at me sympathetically.

"Love you dad," Olive says.

That's the first time she's said that to me since I got back. Despite everything going on at the moment, her words warm my heart for a moment. They give me a split second of hope. 

"I love you both," I say as I walk out the door.

I get to the car and just break down. I can't deal with this - any of it. One month ago, I was on a beach in Jamaica with my perfectly happy family. Now, my wife wants a divorce. I sit there and cry for about 20 minutes before I call the Michaela. She'll know what to say - just like mom.

I dial her number, but the phone just rings. It finally tells me to leave a message, but I have no idea what to say so I hang up. I rack my brain for a place to go. My plan was to head over to Michaela's, but if she's not answering who knows what's going on.

Saanvi's words pop into my head:
"If you need anything, feel free to stop by. Don't feel like you're a burden, because you're not."
That's about the only place I have to go anyway. And, if I can't talk to Michaela, Saanvi is the next best option.

***

I realize I look like a wreck by the time I reach the research center. My face is puffy, my hair is a mess, and tear marks have stained my face. I comb my fingers through my hair and try to wipe off my face. I still look like a wreck, and regardless of what Saanvi said, I feel bad for bothering her. I debate not going in, and try calling Michaela one more time. She doesn't answer, so I take a few deep breaths and walk in.

I walk down the hallway to her lab. A fellow researcher gives me a sideways glance, but I am too beyond exhausted to try and figure out why. I get to the door and knock hoping Saanvi will have some great words of wisdom because I am feeling fresh out.