Mathematicians and Scientists (Saanvi×Ben)

Chapter 18: Some Kind of Faith

I hate to do a pesky author's note but I promise it will not become a habit! I am so sorry it took like actually a billion years for me to write this chapter but I have just had a ton going on! Thank you to you guys who have been patient enough to keep up with the story! Enjoy it and feel free to comment with suggestions for future chapters.

Saanvi

Ben takes me back to his place and it's at that moment I realize I am going to be babysat the next few weeks. Not only is he upset I was almost hurt, but I have a feeling he doesn't trust me not to experiment on myself. He doesn't know i have already made up my mind to stop. Permanently.

Surprisingly, he lets me walk up the stairs on my own. I go to sit down on the couch because even that short walk made me lightheaded, but he tells me to take the bed so i do.

I lay down but do not feel tired enough to go to sleep. I begin thinking about 828 and wondering about the other passengers we haven't heard from. How many of them haven't been as lucky as we have? Mick, Cal, Zeke, Ben and I have each other to relate to, but how many of them traveled alone that night? How many of their families have turned them out and called them insane? This is why we can't give up, and if I can't experiment, there must be some other way to help save the passengers.

I head over to the cabinet in Ben's room that conceals the 828 collaboration and open it up. I look at each face and wonder what they're doing right now. How many of them actually follow the callings?

I look through the pages tacked up on the wall searching for connections we have yet to notice, searching for answers. I follow a trail of thoughts about seat numbers or previous destinations of the passengers but come up short.

Ben walks in and sees me up before I have a chance to climb back into bed.

"What are you up to now?" He questions.

"Following rabbit trails to a whole lot of nothing," I tell him.

"Well can't you follow those rabbit trials back to resting?" He asks me, "and maybe... i don't know, take a day off after you spent time in the hospital??"

"Fine," i say, as i climb back into the bed. Resting does sound nice.

Ben sits down beside me and gently strokes my hair. That small gesture sends a warm feeling through my entire body. I look up at his eyes and he looks at mine.

"We're gonna get through this." He reminds me. "We just need to be as cautious as possible. We're dealing with supernatural here Saanvi... and I am beginning to think it is not outside the possibility that science simply cannot hold the answers to this."

And he's right, or it is certainly seeming that way. Whatever the phenomena of 828 involves, it does not want to be discovered through experimentation.

"I really think the answer will come through following the callings... through some kind of faith." He says.

" I just hope they don't lead us astray." I add.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"I just hope they don't lead us to do something crazy. Like what if they lead us to hurt someone?" I reply.

"The callings wouldn't do that. They're good. You have to believe that." He pleads. His voice sounds so passionate so I decide to stop pressing the issue.

"I'm sure you're right." I tell him.

I reach for his hand with hopes i haven't sent him on a wild chase of questioning the callings. It just seems crazy to think he hasn't done it much himself yet.

He squeezes my hand before letting go and rubbing his hand down my shoulder and back to my hand. That one touch sends a rush of feelings so i sit up and examine his face for the first time today. His eyes look tired and his face holds traces of sadness. His hair is ruffled, and i try not to note how much hotter that makes him.

I finally just look into his eyes with his hand still holding mine. He puts his other hand behind my back and rubs it briefly before moving his face closer to mine. He puts it so close I can feel his breath on my lips and all I wanna do is close the distance between us. Finally, i can't tolerate it and I press my lips into his. He kisses me so gently but i can feel the passion of the moment building.

I put both hands behind his back and feel up and down his spine. I can feel his hands on my own as he kisses my lips softly several times, with each one a bit tougher, a bit longer. I feel such an urge to unbutton his shirt and just let the desire take over. The only thing I care about in this entire world right now is Ben.

I stop for a second and look in his eyes and I know he feels the same way. I reach for the top button and I feel his hands on my waste at the brim of my shirt. Everything is so perfect until I hear a thud in the sitting room.

I climb back to the other side of the bed and Ben stands up. He walks to the doorway before asking who is there.

"It's just me dad," i hear Olive say.

"Olive, sweetheart, what are you doing here? " Ben says as we both head into the sitting room.

"I just needed to get away from mom and Danny. I'm so sick of it and her rules and.. I just miss you." She says so sweetly.

The way Ben looks at her is precious. He gives her a tight hug before saying.

"As long as your mother knows you're here, you can stay as long as you'd like."

"Thanks dad!" She exclaims, and for once Olive looks happy. "What have you guys been up to?" She asks.

"Not much," i reply quickly. I don't want to tell her about my incident or the incident that almost just happened.

"Well knowing the callings, I'm sure it won't be long before 'not much ' turns into 'too much'" she says.

We laugh, knowing she's correct.

****

Olive hangs out with us the rest of the day and brings some fun and levity to the day. Michalea calls me around 9 so I take her call and step out into Ben's room.

"Hey Michaela" I say as I pick up.

"How are you feeling Saanvi... Ben told me what happened."

Of course he did. What did I expect.

"I'm feeling much better." I reply.

"Are you at Ben's right now? I mean I'd assume he won't be letting you out of his sight anytime soon."

"Yes, I am." I tell her.

"And what have you guys been doing??" She questions with a teasing tone in her voice... and to think she probably would've been right if Olive hadn't shown up.

"Literally nothing considering Olive is here as well." I tell her.

"And how has your calling been? I actually heard it about 10 minutes ago and it reminded me to check on you."

"I actually haven't had it all day." I tell her.

"You haven't had it all day??? And I did? That's bazaar!" She states.

"That is.. why would you be having my calling when I'm not?" I respond.

"Well, the callings have a mind of their own. Don't worry too much." She says before we exchange pleasantries and end the call.

She said not to worry about it but I'm worried. I went from having this calling multiple times a day to not even having it once today??? That makes no sense.

And then it hits me. There is no coincidence that this happened on the same day I tested on myself. What if I remove my callings? At first I am overjoyed at the thought I no longer have to obey their plaguing voice. That is until I recall Ben's previous statement, " I really think the answer will come through following the callings... through some kind of faith."

What have I done??? If Ben is right, then I don't know how I am supposed to follow callings I can't hear. I out my faith in my experiments instead of the callings and now they're gone... along with my chances of getting past the next 5 years.