Tulips || Hu Tao x Xiao

Tulips

Tranquillity and Peace.

Two words that pass through others' mouths in conversation related to how they feel but could never pass through my own.

My life is never at peace. Even if I was released from the endless pain I endured, my battle will never end, a war that can never be one, thus I can't say I'm at peace.

It's always been like this, so those who pity such a life are pitiful themselves, I do not mind the day to day struggle but I could hardly say that I'm at peace with it.

Recently, however, an annoyance has weaved its way into my dull repetitive life. Threatening to dye the whites and grey around me with vibrant red.

"Xiao, Hiya! How are you today?" A loud high-pitched voice cheered from behind me on the balcony of Wangshu Inn. It's always the moments that I want to be alone where she appears suddenly from who knows where. Usually, I would just ignore those who try to converse with me, hoping they'd take a hint and leave me alone, but not with her. I know she would just continue with her conversation as if the silence was consent for her to stay. Even when I tell her to leave me alone she would always say, 'now come on, I know you don't actually want to!', chattering on with whatever she was talking about previously, and for some reason, my heart tells me that she might be right, not that I'd ever actually allowed myself I believe in that nonsense.

"You truly have no respect for the adept, do you, Hu Tao?" I let myself get lost in the conversation, even if I'd regret it later. There's something about her that draws one in, briefly allowing you to let go of your troubles and just relax. That quality is the one thing that scares me about Hu Tao, I do not wish to be caught up in her flow and allow her to release me from the burden I bear, even if it returns to me after we finish talking.

"Aiya, don't be like that Xiao. We're friends, aren't we? What would be a friend if they never visited you?" Hu Tao chirped back in response, "Besides, I brought you Almond Tofu, your favourite right?" She continued, pulling out a container that was assumed to be the dish she brought.

"I suppose I can tolerate you for today then," I replied, taking her container from her, hands brushing ever so slightly. From the steam of the Almond Tofu, I could see Hu Tao's cheeks flush ever so slightly, "So, what brings you around today? Did another potential client slip from your grasp again?" That was often the reason she came to see me. She saw me as the perfect person to vent to since I rarely engage in her conversations.

"Nope! Not today at least. I just, I don't know, wanted to see you for a bit, is that a good enough reason?" Hu Tao got closer, joining me on the edge of the balcony, her hands rested only a few centimetres away from mine as she faced ahead, taking in the view. "While I was out advertising the Parlor, my mind drifted to you, and I was overcome with the desire to see you, so here I am!" She lazily raised her hands in hurrah before lowering them back down on the railing, her head following as she placed it onto her hands.

Hu Tao was dangerous before, but the sight of her and her half-assed reason to come see me was deadly. Any second now she would burst like a balloon and stain my black and white world with red, and then it'd be too late to sever our connection, it'd already been too strong.

She was still caught up in the view, despite her seeing it many times before. Her eyes flutter up and down as she surveyed the mountains far in the distance, her nose crinkling when she came across the hilichurl camps that can be seen from afar. The wind moved perfectly around her like it was obeying her command, as her hair fluttered underneath her hat. She, who was loud and excentric, looked like she was the definition of peace and tranquillity, possessing all that I deep down wanted for myself.

After many moments of silence, she tilted her head to the side, peering up to me with a warm smile printed onto her face, like she just remembered something that made her genuinely happy. The red that threatened to spill found its way up my body towards my hands and motioned me to copy her movements until I found myself face to face with her, resting my head on my hands as she did mere minutes ago. We were absolutely too close to each other for my comfort but it was comfortable. Hu Tao looked absolutely beautiful in the golden hues of the setting sun, staring at me with a sparkle in her eyes and an ever-growing blush across cheeks yet still had that same warm smile plastered on her face.

My worst fear was coming to fruition, that she would entrap me in her colourful world and I could never escape, but for some reason, it wasn't horrible. Both Hu Tao and I stood there, just taking in the presence of each other for what seemed like hours. It was truly... peaceful. For the time we spent there, while the sun was setting, I could say that I was at peace. I was entrapped in her colourful world, uncomfortably shifting in the newfound light but it was ok because she was there. To think that I would never have found what I truly desired if I didn't allow her to rip open my world and drag me out, what would I be without her?

Hu Tao's liveliness is irritating, to say the least, but she's not boring, nor is she like anyone else in this world. To me, she is the colour of my world. If everything is black and white, just seeing her would make everything shine. She was a walking splash of colour and she chose to seek me out, on the daily, filling me with warmth and solitude.

"You should go home now, the darkness is not safe, it might envelope you if you stay outside much longer," I hovered my hand over her head before placing it down gingerly to move strands of hair that had covered her face in the wind beforehand. My head followed suit and planted a small kiss on her forehead before I pushed myself off the railing, a small blush painted its way onto my cheeks. I couldn't see her reaction to my gesture but I could hear her pushing herself off the railing as I did, footsteps echoing in my direction before I received a small hug from behind me. I wanted to turn around but she nuzzled my shoulder with her head, gesturing for me to just let it happen. I wished for nothing more but for us to stay like we were forever but alas, all good things must come to an end eventually. With one flowing movement, she left her place by my side and ran towards the exit leading into the Inn itself, pausing for a moment and turned back to face me.

"Well, it was fun being with you today Xiao! I'd like to do this again sometime..." She drifted off mid-sentence, eyeing the floor for a moment before focusing her attention back on me, "If you would allow me to come again..." I could sense some hesitation in her voice as she spoke as if she lost all her outlandish confidence and couldn't find it. My heart sank for a moment, realising that she was unsure because of my before behaviour towards her.

I wanted to tell her everything, pour my heart out to her just so she would stop looking so heartbroken but nothing would come out. It was pointless to try, why would I be able to open up to someone that easily after spending centuries not opening up to anyone else. I didn't know what else to do at that moment as I stared at her sullen face, for once I felt like I wasn't able to do anything for her, despite her letting me into her life.

"Yes, I didn't mind your company today, you were quiet for a change..." I took another deep breath and continued, "It was... nice, you should come by again when you are free." I didn't know what else to say, my eyes were glued to the floor, awaiting her response but all I heard were footsteps approaching. It took me a second to register but the next thing I knew was Hu Tao found her way into my arms, seeming to regain her original liveliness as we spun around a few times from the impact.

As I rebalanced myself, Hu Tao leapt out of my arms and smiled towards me, like the sun shining down on the Earth. "Yay, I'll see you again soon, Xiao!!" She giggled before running away again, without giving me any chances to respond. I snapped out of my haze a few seconds later, the realisation of what just happened to set in. This time the blush returned in full force, as I stood there in shock.

An annoyance did appear to weasel her way into my life, with her bright scarlet eyes and affectionate smile, that much was certain, but maybe it isn't so bad. She is like a bouquet of Tulips, breathing life into a white, tranquil room, almost threatening to engulf the room as a whole, the difference is that she is a wanted bouquet of tulips, gifted to me by the archons, to allow me to feel a life of colour...

I suppose this feeling... is not too bad at all.