Daniel Seavey Imagines

please don't leave

TW: cancer.

songs for this chapter: rosyln- bon iver

cancer. the dark depths of pain and sadness. mostly fear. you see, most people with cancer would be dreading to leave this earth because of their families, but for you... it's one person....

daniel....he's the love of your life. and everytime you think about leaving him, you push the thought away. and you know he's done the same. i think he's gotten used to the idea that your here....but you know you won't be in a matter of years. soon your memory will be gone, you won't remember a single thing daniel has said to you. you don't think you'll even remember him...

but you can't give up hope. for him.....

"hey." he hummed, wrapping his arms around your waist and setting his chin on your shoulder. you leaned back on his chest and rubbed his arms with your thumb.

you still remember the day you found out you were terminal. when he met you, you didn't have cancer. but during your friendship he was still there for you. that meant a lot to you, but it meant a lot more when you were together. 

you were going to the doctors for your check-up. you thought you were getting better. so did daniel. you thought this might be it, you might be all better....but then they found another tumor and told you were terminal. you and daniel just looked at each other in shock. you literally couldn't get a word out. you both didn't say a word to each other during the whole ride home. but when you got home, you both broke down. "i don't want you to leave..." he cried. those words. those words stuck to you like super glue. 

"hi." you said. "how're you feeling today?" he asked. "better than normal." you smiled. he smiled back. "awh." he said, ruffling his hands in your hair...that you would soon have to shave off. 

"how do you feel about a lazy day today hm?" he asked, making shapes on your back with his fingers. "i think that's something we can do." you said, rubbing your hands up and down his arms. 

ever since you found out you were terminal, you couldn't keep our hands off each other. you wanted enough before you go. he's always holding your hand. or something similar to that. your smile soon vanished at the thought of leaving him. "what?" daniel says, his smile quickly erasing itself after he noticed yours was gone. 

"nothing." you shook your head. you tried walking away but he grabbed your arm gently. "what's going on?" you turned back around, tears already threatening to leave your eyes. "baby," he whispered, putting his hand behind your head and using to pull you into his chest. "i'm scared too, y/n. but we're going through this together." he whispered, knowing exactly what was going through your head. 

"but we're not going through this together daniel. you don't know what i feel everyday. i'm going through this pain alone. and soon.....you will have pain to deal with that i could fix by being here. but i can't because i won't be here."

"don't talk like that. it hurts me when you talk like that." he says. you could hear his tears falling onto your head. 

"listen daniel. i hate to see you like this but you need to know this. you need to hear this. you need to prepare for this."

"stop." he said, turning around, his back facing you. you could tell he was still crying, but attempting to cover it up. 

"just stop." he choked out. you went in front of him, and put your hands on the side of his face. "look at me." you whispered. "lovie," you said, tears spilling. "please look at me." he slowly looked up at you. "i don't want to go either. trust me when i say that. you're the only reason i've been fighting so long. but this is inevitable. this can't be fixed." you said. when he cried more, you pulled him into your chest while he continued to cry. 

"why did it have to be you?" he wailed. you played with the hair on the nape of his neck, and quietly shushed him. you couldn't answer his question. because you didn't know the answer. 

he stayed silent after that. "i just want you to know that..." you struggled to get this sentence out for some unknown reason. "i love you," you paused. ", so much." you cried. "i love you so much." you sobbed. 

"please don't go. please. say you won't go." he begged. "i can't." you said. he just hugged you tighter. 

and when the time came, you did leave. you did break his heart. you did hurt him. but you did love him. 

and that's something he'll be forever grateful for. to get his mind off things he would make music and... alcohol... that's what he tried, but it never really worked. he wasn't addicted, it was just psychological. his family and friends helped him through it, and he eventually did. he loved her, but he knew she was in a better place with no pain. 

"you can rest now." he whispers to you as you take your final breath, clutching onto your pale, weak hand. 

he kissed you on the head one last time, and they took your lifeless, painless body out of the room while daniel wiped the tears away.

CHILE ANYWAYS SO-

sorry for the sappy chapter ya'll, but anywaysss...

i'm gonna write another book! it's gonna be great. 

and yeah, i have no idea what i'm gonna write in this imagine story but i'll work on it.... thanks for all of you who have stuck with my terrible writing! i love ya'll so much you don't even know.