the go-getter||nba youngboy

036.

Ailynn Ranada
October 29, 2019 | 12:37 am
Los Angeles International Airport

"Flight 234 to Baton Rouge is now boarding" The intercom said over the airport. I grabbed my suitcases & had the girls helping me with my other few bags.

"You sure you don't want us to come home with you?" Aiyanna asked with sad look on her face.

"Right, it ain't nothing for us to come back with you" Maj said making the rest of the girls agree with her.

"It's fine y'all, ima be okay." I said sighing. The situation was still fresh and I was still in shock. If only I wasn't drunk I would've had more sense to why the girl was asking was I his girlfriend.

"You sure?" Reine asked me & I nodded.

After I said my goodbyes to the girls, I boarded onto the plane. The flight would be about 6 hours so I found my seat and turned on some music.

The first song that came on was "Sky Cry" and I immediately skipped it. It's like this stupid ass app was doing this on purpose.

It's crazy how the way he and I met totally contrasts from the way we ended. The embarrassment I felt standing in front of all those people was crazy. I had grew so much love for Kentrell only to be snaked. He raps about people snaking him all day only to turn around & do the same to me. And the fact that I haven't even thought about doing something to hurt him.

Maybe it's the way my heart is set up. I allowed him to take advantage of it.

The intro to "Love Drought" by Beyonce immediately snapped me out of my thoughts & the words she spoke made me enter into an even deeper thought.

"He bathes me until I forget their names & faces. I ask him to look me in the eye when I come... home. Why do you deny yourself, heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it's not possible for someone like you. But you are the love of my life."

The last sentence kept repeating into my head. He was the love of my life. But as much as I wanted to turn around & forgive him, my pride wouldn't let me.

Plenty times he's said he didn't deserve my love but in my mind he did. I saw him as somebody who needed as much love & support he could get. And that I gave to him.

I knew for a fact that I wouldn't cope with this well considering I had been looking for him for years. The moment I saw him in that laundry place I felt like a piece of me was filled in.

It wasn't even about becoming friends with him. After hearing the things he told me about his life on that mountain, I just wanted to know that he was still alive.

The time I had with my missing piece was fun, but now it's time to learn to live without him again.

I let out a loud sigh as music played through my airpods. I could feel my eyes closing & I let then. Before I knew it I was sleep.

Wanted y'all to know how she felt about the situation.
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this book is coming to an end soon 😭 so book 2 ?