A Bullet Through Your Head {Lams} {Hamilton}

Chapter 8

John POV:

I watched Alexander and the rest of the guys get insanely drunk... Then Alexander got up onto the table and started to scream shout whatever the fuck song was playing in the bar. I didn't drink any alcohol, I'm trying to make amends and to throw my past self into the back of my closet.

Then fucking Thomas Jeffershit and James Madsonofabitch came up to us and started yelling at Alexander to get off the table. Basically being a huge asswipe. Like damn, just cuz you don't have fun like us doesn't mean you have to be such a fucking douche bag about it. "Hey. Why don't you two fucking piss off and mind your own business?!" I said. "YEAH! WHAT MY BOY SAID! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Alexander drunkenly shouted at Jefferson and poured goddamn Whiskey on his head. Jefferson squealed like a fucking spoilt brat and started to go off on Alex about his stupid ugly ass velvet vest.
Jefferson suddenly leapt towards Alexander and they had a huge fucking catfight until we were all told to leave the bar.

Aaron was our getaway. He drove all of us home. "John, I'll handle Lafayette and Hercules, can you handle Alexander?" Aaron asked. I blushed a little "O-oh um yeah sure.." I said. I opened the car door to Alex's side where I saw him fast asleep. How was it possible that he looks absolutely adorable when he's asleep...*sigh* it's a shame I have to wake him up. "Alex, we're home, bud! C'mon let's get you to your bed" I said I grabbed Alexander's arm and pulled him over my shoulder. We walked clumsily to the front door. "John...?" Alex asks. "Yeah, bud?" I responded. We walk into the living room and up the stairs. "I think I want Maria back," Alexander said sadly. He's obviously drunk and vulnerable so he's not thinking right. "No don't get back with her, Alex. She always controls you and she doesn't trust you." I say as we walk towards Alexander's room. We walk in and I close the door behind me. I lay Alex on his bed gently. "Alright. Let's get you changed okay?" I said trying not to be awkward. "Okay..." Alex said softly...almost whispering. I start to help him unbutton his shirt when he says "I think I'm gonna call her". Alex grabs his phone and I snatch it from him. "HEYYY JOHN GIVE ME MY PHONE BAACKKK!!!" Alex whined and tried to reach for the phone. "No!! It's a really bad idea, Alex!! You're gonna regret it!!" I say trying to raise my hand out of his reach. He instead grabs my whole arm and I fall onto him. I start to blush and forget about the phone. Alexander quickly snatches it from my hand and I snatch it back and place it on a high shelf. "OH COME ON JOHN!!" Alex whined. "Please...I miss her." Alex says as he starts to get teary. "Hey... it's for the best, Alex. You're really drunk and vulnerable right now. Of course, she'll take you back...but she'll use you again." I say trying my best not to lecture him on reasons why getting back with Maria is a bad idea.
"What if she's my one chance at true love, John?! What if she's the only person who loves me?! I mean, I'm average looking. I just hate my nose and I hate the bags under my eyes...and I just hate...myself. I always cause trouble everywhere I go and I don't know why. Maybe I'm just so insecure that I have to pretend to smile every day and pretend to be more confident than I actually am...I don't think I'm valid in anyone's eyes..especially as someone who is...bisexual" Alex says quietly.
I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Are you kidding me, Alexander?! You are so valid!! I know you have quite a number of enemies but you have a lot of friends here who love you and think that you are charming and awfully goofy and...everything anyone could ever wish for as a partner...I mean, for me at least.." I say quietly at the end...hoping he didn't hear me...but he did. "I'm...everything you could ever wish for?" Alexander asked as the moonlight glistened on his beautiful brown eyes. "Yes..." I say looking down at my hands. He lifted my head up and kissed me.

I feel teardrops drip down my cheeks as we kissed. Everything in that moment was just pure silence. Time stopped. I felt the safest that I've ever been. We released from the kiss. Alexander smiled at me with his cute smile. He wiped my tears away and kissed me again. I lay him down on the bed and we start to kiss passionately..

(uhh sOmethING happens here..say no to details)

I wake up naked, with Alexander lying next to me. Oh, fuck...what did I do?
I took one last look at sleeping Alexander and I quietly got out of his bed. I put on my clothes and pretended to sleep in my own bed. I tried to sleep but all I could think about was...

Did Alexander really want me or did I take advantage of him?