The Beginning

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"I was a fangirl in front of the show."

Who would have thought that after 7 years I'm still here with them—a fangirl. I was once a hater of this "kpop" why? I don't understand the language not until I discovered "english translation". I never thought that someone's story will inspired and pushed me in real life. They are the seven reasons why I keep on fighting my svicid4l thoughts. Every time I listened to their songs there's so much comfort in it, to the point I will tell myself its good to be here alive. Through my life they were there, answering all the pain. I don't know if its okay to fully rely my healing and comfort to them.

At young age, I experienced a lot of pain-pain that I never thought that I can get through. At 15, my parents got separated a once happy family is now at the dawn. At 17, I almost stop my education due to financial crisis of my family. At 18, I was an outcast in our section-a social butterfly became an introvert. At 20, my father passed away. At 22, I almost take my life. Now I'm 23, life still keep throwing hard rocks. Every day is still a battle. I don't know how long I can still handle but I'm still holding on.

If someone will ask me why I love being their fan so much is that they are my Anpanman.

I think an Army will understand what I want to say. They saved me. They taught me a lot. From loving myself to being who I am...I can't wait for this to be over.

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