anastasia 'anna' novikov ~ avengers

therapy

15.09.19

Sunday was Annas least favourite part of her weekly routine. This week, said routine had obviously shifted due to school suddenly being 8-3 Monday to Friday. But before that there were few things that made her routine Training, late night runs, Dance and today. Mandated therapy. She was forced into it by shield when she was first saved and had done it every Sunday since. The girl didn't speak to begin with, now she still rarely spoke. It was a slow process and after every session Anna would reside to her room, normally for the rest of the day, to stair at her blank grey walls, or her scars in the mirror.

She got ready, wearing black leggings, where you could actually see how skinny and toned her legs were, given she normally wore loose jeans outside of training. And she wore an oversized hoodie, which she had either stolen from Sam or Steve or Tony. Once she put on the brown leather jacket she realised the jumper was most likely Tonys, because of how much larger the jacket was. She walked out of her room and knocked on Natasha's door, it was standard for Natasha to drive and wait for Anna whilst she was having her mandated therapy sessions. She opened the door and both women walked to the car in silence. It would be redundant for Natasha to try and strike up a conversation, knowing she was not going to get a reply, so the entire journey to the therapists office was silent. The session started at 2pm and went till 3.30pm and Natasha had forced the girl to have lunch, knowing she would be unable to get her to eat after. She had allowed her to skip last week, thinking starting a new school would be enough stress.

Finally they got to the office, Anna gave Natasha one last pleading look before walking into the office of the woman who forced Anna to call her 'Nicole', despite wanting to call her Dr.Furnham. She was a blonde woman who looked no older than 40. As Anna entered, the woman gave her a soft smile. The woman had to admit, Anna was one of her more difficult clients, and being someone who specifically worked with shield agents, that was saying alot.

"Hi Anna" she said as Anna sat on the wooden chair. Nicole didn't normally have the wooden chair in her office, but noticing Annas discomfort on the sofa in her first few sessions, had added it to the room.
"Hi Nicole" Anna replied, barely audible to the blonde woman. Anna was staring at her feet as Nicole was staring at her.
"You ready to begin?"
"Not particularly" and with that, the onslaught of questions began.

Most questions, Anna tried her hardest to ignore, but Nicole was very persistent.
"Have you had any more panic attacks?" Anna looked up at the woman, not saying anything, which gave her her answer. "How many?" Anna tried to recall each panic attack she had had in the last week.
"Umm 3? 4? maybe 5?" Other than the roof on Tuesday and Thursday night, where she spent time with her friends, most other evenings had involved her finding a private spot on a roof, or being in her room and trying to breath whilst memories flashed back to her and tears rolled down her cheek, for a very painful hour. This and the jeans made a total of somewhere around 5. In two weeks. Anna hadn't considered this was a lot, until Nicole told her it was.

"I think we should start medication" the words stung Anna. It made her feel weak, she couldn't stop this herself, she needed some dumb drugs to do it with her. "What do you think about this Anna?" Nicole must've noticed the girls expression falter, which she hated. "I don't like it" was all the blonde got in response. It was progress from the silence that she had got basically the entire rest of the session, which had started 30 minutes ago.

After another hour of discussing Anna and her borderline paranoia and her panic attacks, she was given daily medication to take, much to her dismay. Nicole had also ensured Natasha knew Anna had to take this medication, not trusting her to take it herself.  She had to take them at 4.30pm, starting today. It is safe to say that Natasha was not looking forward to making Anna do this.

They got back in the car, for the twenty minute car drive, and drove in silence. Natasha felt herself counting down the seconds to which she had to force the stubborn fifteen year old next to her, who wouldn't even speak to her right now, to take medication.

When they arrived back at home, Anna was quick to try and run to her room whilst Natasha sighed loudly, having to walk quickly after the girl whilst carrying the orange pill bottle. Everyone currently sat in the living room just looked at the pair confused.

None of them were aware of Annas panic attacks, and Natasha wasn't aware she frequently had them on her 'runs' or after therapy sessions. That was until she walked into Annas room a few seconds after her finding the girl in a corner in a ball shaking. It had obviously just started because she wasn't yet struggling for breath.

Natasha kneeled in front of the girl and proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes to calm the girl down. She was finally calm and Natasha knew she had to get the girl to take the medication still in her hand. "Anna, I'm gonna need you to take this medication for me" Natasha said pleading with the girl, who looked up at Natasha, eyes still red and filled with tears and shook her head slowly. "Come on Anna, I really need you to work with me" a look of genuine desperation was painted across Annas expression at Natasha's words. Natasha's pleas continued for 20 minutes.

"What can I give you to make you take this medication Anna, please, I promise your not weak for needing it" Natasha was possibly the only person Anna trusted in the world, and if she said she wasn't weak, she decided she was telling the truth. And finally, she took the medication. "Give it to me" Anna said, barely audibly. Natasha's eyes widened and a small smile graced her lip as she took out a small pill and handed it to the girl across from her.
"Do I just swallow it whole?" Anna asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the small pill. Natasha nodded and watched as Anna gulped the pill, happily. "I really hate to ask this..."
"You want me to open my mouth and show you under my tongue?" the girls intuition caused Natasha to smile and nod as the girl repeated the actions.

And then, Natasha left, and Anna was alone again. This was the first Sunday she realised, the last thing she needed or wanted right now was to be alone, so she wiped her teary eyes, ignored their glossiness and their redness, hoping no one would question it and walked to the main room. Currently residing in it was Natasha, Wanda, Steve and Sam. Anna walked over to the sofa Natasha was sat on and took the seat next to her.

Everyone in the room ignored the surprising entrance of the teary eyed girl, except the woman she  sat next to. Natasha subtly pulled the girl closer to her, which she didn't object to, in fact the girl rested her head on Natasha's shoulder, which was shocking, but Natasha also didn't object. "What are you doing down here?" Natasha whispered into her ear. Anna didn't want to admit to Natasha she was lonely, so just shrugged her shoulders which Natasha deemed except able. And with that, Anna spent the rest of the evening in silence, but at least she wasn't alone.