Between his arms (Azares Family Series)

BHA 6 | Sin

Chapter 6
Sin

-

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa lubid para alalayan ang sarili. Carpian's hand seemed to feel warmer as I stared at him longer.

"Bakit? Gusto mo bang halikan kita?"

There he goes, again.

"I'm not going to kiss you! What is wrong with you? We're lost at sea!"

"And dying. Don't forget i'm dying."

"Walang mamamatay, Carpian. Shush."

"I could." Nagawa n'ya pang tumawa sa sitwasyon na 'to. "This is very tragic. Like a Jonaxx stories." He sighed dramatically.

"For God's sake. May sasabihin ka bang maganda? I don't know who's Jonaxx is!"

He gasped as if it's the most unexpected thing he heard. "Baby, too bad for you."

Binaba n'ya ang kanyang kamay. "Yeah. Actually." bumuka ang bibig n'ya para magsalita, but he didn't continue. Pakiramdam ko ang lumalala na ang sakit ng dibdib n'ya. Now I want to pull him closer to me but I don't know if that would help with the pain at all.

I suddenly see something in his eyes. Longing? Regrets?

"Does it still hurt?" tukoy ko sa scar na nasa leeg n'ya.

"No." He answered casually without looking at me.

Binalot kami ng sandaling katahimikan. For a second, I thought he lost consciousness. But then he spoke again. His voice calmer and lower.

"If you don't mind me asking. Why do you call your father, Red or Captain?"

I let the question settle for a moment, thinking about the easiest answer.

"For the same reason kung bakit Lana ang tawag n'ya sa akin. My mother named me Larianne Elise, but Red thought it sounded too weak, too dainty for our life. At least, that's my guess. Lana at Red na ang tawag namin sa isa't isa bago pa man ako tumapak ng barko. He said that in that way, we won't tangled into a father-daughter relationship or admit something absurd, like the fact that we might care for each other. Iyon din ang dahilan kung bakit hindi s'ya pumapayag na tinatawag ko s'yang Pa or Dad kapag kasama namin kayo."

"But you do care for each other, don't you?"

"He is my father. Syempre palagi akong may pake sa kan'ya. But it's easier for him to keep that all neatly and if that is what makes him comfortable, then I'll go with it."

Carpian frowned, touched my hand, and for a second, I wanted to slap it away. But our eyes met. "He's an idiot. If I had a daughter, I'd never want to forget her. She would be everything to me."

He smiled as if he said a very honest confession. Hindi ko maipaliwanag, but he possesses this crazy way of making everything all right.

"I grew up to act like a man, at nakikita mo naman na sa mundo namin, walang lugar ang babae sa barko."

"I'm sorry I said that."

Nagkibit balikat lang ako. "Any other boat, any other woman, I might agree. But–"

"You belong to the sea, Lana. You know how to fish, how to captain a ship."