Sanctuary

Chapter 22

Monday, 8th November 1971, 1:45 pm

Remus was sitting next to Peter in Charms class as far away as he could get while still being at the desk. The accident at the Quidditch match the day before had been a sobering reminder of how many risks he'd been taking. It had been stupid and reckless to attend the Quidditch match. Sirius insisted that their skin hadn't touched, but he was worried sick. Maybe it had, and he just hadn't noticed. He didn't know what to do; tell someone, or wait and see? On the one hand, if he told Professor Dumbledore, and he had been right and the Headmaster was unaware of how infectious he was, he might be asked to leave the school, even if Sirius was fine. On the other hand, if he told no one and Sirius was infected... Well, a lot of people could die.

He could afford to hold off on making a decision, though. The next full moon was over three weeks away. If he kept an eye on Sirius, he should notice if there were any signs of lycanthropy in him. Sensitivity to smells and sounds, for example, or acting like he was in pain when he moved around. He wouldn't be as used to hiding pain as Remus was.

They were practising Alohomora in class that afternoon, and Remus, Sirius, James and a few other students all easily unlocked the full range of locks they were given to practise on, and Professor Flitwick gave a demonstration of Colloportus and told them to attempt to relock them. He also promised a fun lesson as a final practical the following day. The students chattered with excitement at the news.

Remus couldn't find it in himself to feel excited, despite how legendary Flitwick's "fun practicals" were. He couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that he'd infected his best friend and cursed him to a life of pain, suffering and prejudice. Sirius would probably never speak to him again, and who could blame him? He'd been so selfish.

It didn't take him long to get the hang of the locking spell, and as he re-locked the last of the locks on his desk, he noted how pleased Madam Pomfrey would be that she no longer needed to take him all the way down the tunnel to lock him in. Of course, she would still have to come down after the full moon to get him and carry his injured, bleeding body back to the hospital wing. He was still a burden; he would always be a burden. Better to shut himself off so no one would have to suffer with him.

The rest of the week continued similarly, with Remus keeping his distance from everyone. Including his friends. He returned to his old routine of eating alone in the kitchens and spent all of his free time alone in a deserted corner of the library. The other Marauders seemed to be understanding of his behaviour, but it was wearing on their friendship, and he kept catching them whispering in corners and passing notes in class that never got passed to him. He told himself it was for the best. It was safer for them to not be around him. Safer for everyone. But gods did it hurt.

The fun practical in Charms turned out to be another maze, this one with locked doors in their path. Remus smiled throughout and joined in with his friends joking, but inside, he felt hollow. Dead. Sirius had yet to show any signs of infection, but it was far too early to say. The symptoms wouldn't show until three days before the moon at the earliest. Maybe not even until the day of. If he had been infected, he would have no time to prepare. Not that you even could prepare yourself for the agonising pain of your body ripping itself apart and rebuilding. Sirius would never forgive him. How could he?

In Transfiguration, they had moved on from altering an object's shape, material and colour, and were working on the states of matter, specifically turning a liquid into a gas, in their case water into steam. A few people suffered minor burns when they were unexpectedly successful. Remus kept his eye on Sirius. If he burnt himself, would it immediately heal? He couldn't remember much about his time in hospital after he was bitten. It was all a blur. How long did it take for the regeneration abilities to kick in? It didn't matter in the end. Sirius didn't burn himself; he was far too skilled for that.