Pious and Raw

|Pious & Raw|

"Don't Leave An Inch Of Me Untouched-
And If You Think That Strictly Means Skin,
Well Then You Don't Know Much About
Love."
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"What are you doing, Nikki?"

Exactly! She saw her love walking away from her. She could feel it slipping away. She knew if he crossed the door, it would be too late. She could lose him forever and have the rest of her life sitting back and regretting what she did and said today. She must have borne in mind, a person like her PS who she had so hopelessly fallen in love with, wasn't the sort of a man her words unwittingly made him sound like. Her heart hammered in her ribs at the thought and she was torn apart between what she wanted to do and what her wise conscience dictated her to. No doubt, the former thoughts were having an overwhelming grasp on her and propelling her guts really hard to scream and stop who she could notice had literally and metaphorically turned his back on her. Why was she finding it that difficult to take in that was happening! It's understandable that it was a lot that happened so quick, that she didn't get time and scope enough to digest. Impulsiveness! That would be the death of her, one day, she thought!! The man who had declared his ardent and earnest love for her the way she had read in fictions only, perhaps even better and raw in every possible way... did she just somehow give him the throe of rejection? That too in the most dishonorable manner? Admitted not intended but nonetheless the same..? How she wished she could take back her words and let him claim her the way he wanted to ...the way she wanted him to!! To bask in his love was the most sensational thought her brain could ever think of. How imbecile it would have been on her part, to let go of a man who was ready to strike down anyone who came in their way of being together; to rage a war if need be, to kiss her tears of pain away and replace them with the ones of joy, to hold her close when she knew she was to fall apart, to put her first before himself and his own life, if truth be told, to love her the way, the stars can only love the moon!!

Suddenly the valiant part of herself managed to knock some daring sense into her head, subsiding the fiend part of her conscience dictating her to lose one gem of a man, who, even being searched for a millennium will not be found in any other. The discernment finally made way to her to her rather obnoxious self and made her realise she couldn't afford to lose her PS. He was too rich a gem of a man, and to lose him would be in a way losing that part of herself that mattered to her the most, and essentially above all, the one which had her the Anokhi, she was now. Drifting away from her body... yes, she could do that. But parting with her soul..No! That she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough to bear what would come along with that. It would jeopardize all the chances of her being happy in life, of being the one she wanted to be.

She couldn't think straight. It was her last chance to stop the love of her life from walking away; to do what she ought to have done way before. Exactly so! How could she go about thinking in the way she was!? Were their relationship to be revealed in front of all and become an impediment to struggle for, so be it. She would rather fight it with him, together than let herself on her own. Who cared what the others would think of her or what insults society would stain her with, as long as the man she loved was there with her; for her. Nothing had ever felt truer than his words. No feeling had ever felt so palpably beautiful as loving him and getting loved by him in return, did. And standing at this very moment, depriving herself from the one thing she would regret forever, -- to not claim him as her own, to not revel in his arms and to strip herself off the most desirable passions she could feel wiggling in her stomach--- no, that was way too much a loss to bear. To put at stake the one thing that she held so dear to her life was not something she was willing to let go of or lose at any cost that soon (or ever for a matter of fact). Even if they were to be caught together or if someone did barge in... damned be the consequences, for all she cared!! All she wanted now was her PS; her Shaurya.