Soulseer ✔️ *COMPLETE*

Chapter Twenty-One

Yoshi has us separate ourselves within the arena so that we all have plenty of space to show him where we're at without jeopardizing anyone else. I notice that everyone gives me a particularly wide berth - like half the freaking stadium.

After strolling past several students attempting their Enshroudments, Yoshi wanders my way.

"Give it a bash."

I shake my head. "I'd really rather not."

"Don't overthink it," Yoshi says.

"It's less overthinking and more underknowing," I say.

"Clever, mate. But there's not much to know. You're already aware that when you're relaxed, your soul claims its own space nearby. Enshrouding is simply convincing it to share space with you. You have to nudge it from its natural state."

I shrug. That's simple?

And Yoshi points at my shoulders with a grin. "There! Exactly like your shoulders. When you're relaxed, they're down. It takes effort to move them up. They'll do it! But it takes work."

I'm unconvinced. Despite having - in some cases several months - more training than me, most of my classmates are barely able to Enshroud. And no one can do it reliably or quickly yet. I watch as even Ximena stalls out and must abandon her effort.

"Alright, everyone," Yoshi says, scanning the crowd of failed attempts, "that's a dog's breakfast, isn't it?"

Yoshi calls us back in and demonstrates the steps for us several more times utilizing a variety of approaches.

"Seer Hazel usually has us practice with just an arm to start," Yasen says.

Yoshi smiles at Yasen. It's a lazy grin really, but I can see the muscles in his jaw clench.

"Yep, that's one way of teaching, of course," he says in that Aussie drawl. "But it's not very practical in the real world is it?"

He eyes the group of us. I'm relieved that I'm not the only one who is clueless about this.

"Think it through," he says and slides his soul over his arm to the elbow leaving it a big ugly blob. He holds the arm up, his soul tracking with the movement. "I've manipulated my soul to cover my arm. Bully for me, I've Enshrouded something. But if I try to jump a Seam like this - never mind Travel - what do you think is going to happen?"

And that's when I understand his issue. When everything in a physical body is in the same place, it doesn't matter if you wrap your soul around a part of it. It still exists exactly where it did previously. But once you connect with the Inbetween, your soul becomes a bubble of safety, keeping everything inside protected from everything outside. And it keeps it all together. If you tried to use a fold, or "jump a Seam" as Yoshi called it, with only a portion of your body Enshrouded, some of you could end up in rural Pakistan and some of you would remain in the Gathering. I mentally thank Sahar profusely for being so adept at Enshrouding.

"You could amputate yourself," I say.

Yoshi beams a grin my way, jabbing a finger at me. "Exactly," he says. "And that's best case scenario."

Even Yasen looks a little green now.

"So my take is: we practice real world conditions from Day one!" Yoshi slams his right hand into his left palm to emphasize his point. "Enshrouding, like Traveling, is an all or nothing skill. And until you can Enshroud quickly and completely every time you attempt it, you can NOT Enshroud. Now I'm not knocking other Talents that work on gradations - we can all Emote to a greater or lesser degree. But only some of us are truly Talented at it. Eventually, all of you will learn to Enshroud - everyone - but there are no degrees about it. Ya can do it. Or ya can't."

While Yoshi's little "pep talk" has wilted pretty much everyone in my class, I actually derive some relief from it. Having him move the end posts further down the field has levelled things out a bit. I can't Enshroud. But according to Yoshi's definitions, neither can anyone else. I'm the only one smiling when Yoshi directs us to spread out and begin practicing again. Well, Mohsin is smiling but I'm fairly certain he only caught a few words out of Yoshi's mouth as Mohsin's attention seemed focused on other parts of Yoshi's anatomy. Not that I noticed because... karma.

By the end of class, a few hours later, I am able to bring my soul towards my body and convince it to cohabitate a physical space with me. It will not stretch to cover my whole body, never mind do so in the second-skin fashion that Yoshi pulls off so effortlessly. It's clear that I'm no prodigy at Enshrouding. If this is an integral part of being a Weaver, things are not looking so good for me. I have to remind myself that there are plenty of other Talents left to try. I know this because Yoshi tells me so before turning away with a frustrated look on his face.

I see his gaze lift to the stands and follow it to Adamu, who has slipped in to watch us train again. Yoshi gives a quick shake of his head and a shoulder shrug. His soul floods with frustration. Adamu's face remains still as stone and his soul remains clear. But I know he's disappointed too.

Were they really expecting me to magically manifest some superior Talent? I scan my classmates. I mean some of them have been here for months already and even the best among them still can't do this. Seems a little unfair to have imagined that I'd just pick it up - Weaver or not. If they can't even tell me what exactly a Weaver does, how do they know what I should be doing?

Yoshi and Adamu are not the only frustrated ones.

+++

"You're sure you don't want to come?"

Mohsin is persistent, I'll give him that. Ximena wandered off with half our classmates already. "Nah. I'll just grab something from the cafeteria to take up to my room."

He grimaces. "If you change your mind, ask anyone for the beach," he says.

I nod. "Got it. Thanks."

When we start to head our separate ways, Mohsin stops and turns back to me. "You're sure -really sure?"

I nod again. "Totally," I say and throw up shades of calm confidence in my soul. Mohsin peers at it and while I don't think he's completely fooled, he seems willing to pretend. With a wave, he heads off.

And then I'm free, finally, to be alone.

I swing by the cafeteria, nodding at a few of my classmates who have also elected not to attend the impromptu beach party, grab a quick bite and find my way back to my rooms.

Sitting alone on my couch, I have the quiet I've been looking forward to since I got here. It feels a little like a Friday night after a particularly rough week, when all you want to do is flop on the couch and chill out. Except my brain won't do anything even close to chilling out.

I used to have a recurring nightmare where I'd be running a race except I had no idea where the end was so I'd have to keep running and running but around every corner, down every path, there'd be no finish line in sight. Often, people would be lined up along the sidelines cheering me on. But they'd never help me when I asked which way to go: they'd just clap their hands and urge me onwards.

Being here in the Gathering feels a lot like that nightmare. I have so many people cheering me on, excited about my supposed Weaver potential, but no one seems to be able to help me get there. Nobody knows what makes a Weaver be a Weaver. It's so fucked up. I mean how does an entire society forget something so important? In the mean time, the Covenant could attack and people would die defending me. And for all we know, I'm a false hope.

There's that nausea again.

There must be someone or something somewhere that can help - at least narrow the search for the information.

And that's when I remember Seer Adamu in the Hall of Souls, quoting a line of poetry from some famous Weaver. A poem. It's not much but it's all I've got. Maybe there's more where that came from? I give my bed one last look of love and regret before heading out for answers.