The Smiling Boy

A breath or more of a gasp.

I shot up in my bed in a cold sweat,my heart pounding against my chest. The same nightmare I had been having for the past few days. I looked at the clock it was still only 2 in the morning. I found no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get to bed though. I knew in about six hours I would have to wake up anyways and that I would just have the same dream. The same gasp would wake me up.

After a few hours I found myself sitting in a dark room. The people around dressed in black although I couldn't really say much.

"It's time," a man told us as we settled in.

Some where crying but I found that I had cried to the point that no tears could come out.

I let my mind wonder as the man began to talk.

A smiling boy. Pulling me threw the woods telling me he had a surprise. Only to lead me to a picnic that he had tried so hard to prepare. He was the most amazing cook in the world but that never mattered. All I needed was his smiling face and those wide eyes.

"After looking threw his objects a letter was found. I was instructed to read it while all of you where present."

I looked up not really feeling in the mood to hear him talk.

"I write this with the knowledge of what it means if you find it."

He always loved to write, to the point where I got a note from him at least once a week.

"I honestly don't know what to say. What does one say? I guess you probably have a lot of questions. I think I'll start there. I didn't do it because of you all I just... I don't know. I'm at this point where I feel so bad about myself, so uncomfortable, and lost that it seams like the best idea."

He never had any good ideas. The last time I went along with one of his ideas was me following him outside one night to dance in the rain. He said it was something that he always wanted to do before he died. I ended up with a cold for a week, I guess it didn't matter though. He was there the entire time taking care of me with his adorable dimples and shinny eyes. 

"I just don't know what to do at this point in time. I try to tell myself that everything will be okay b-but it never seems to reassure me enough to not have this thought cross my mind. I don't want you to be upset."

Be upset? How could he do this and not think that we would be upset? We care about him .... cared. The thought that I would now have to use the pass tense anytime I talked or even thought about him made my heart start to weigh down.

"So with that being said please don't be sad. Be happy instead knowing that I love you so very much and that I'm happy now."

I can't be happy though you idiot! Didn't you care to once think about me? Some part of me heard a loud sob from some where, I was too lost in my thoughts to really care though.

"That is all the letter says" the man stated folding the letter back up.

The people around me shuffled in their seats, I however sat there still, inert, as the people made there way towards the large oak doors.

Getting up would mean having to admit it and admitting it would mean that he really was gone.

A shake, I felt someone shake me.

"Are you going to get up or just sleep the day away?"

I looked up and saw him smiling at me.

"Please get up," he begged me planting gentle kisses on my neck and cheek as if trying to persuade me.

I saw him start to frown as I pulled the covers over my head wanting to block out the world around me. He tried to tug the blankets down but only failed as I pulled him down on top of me wrapping my arms around him and pulling him under the blanket with me.