The Starfish

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I was with my youth group from church at the local roller-skating rink and I took a break to sit in the snack area with our leader who was reading because he doesn't skate.

He turned the book toward me so I could read the short story he had just finished because he had been so moved by it.

It was the story of the starfish thrower, and it was wonderful. The original story was written by Loren Eisley. Here is the briefest summary in case you've never seen it.

A child is walking along the beach picking up starfish and tossing them back into the ocean. An observer stops and asks if they think what they are doing really matters as there are starfish stranded on many beaches all over the world. The child picks up the starfish in reach and tosses it back into the ocean before turning to respond, "It matters to that one."

Somehow this story had more impact on me than it did for my youth leader because I mentioned it years later and he did not remember the story, but he was moved when I shared it.

Recently, as I shared this story with a friend, I realized there needs to be an addition to it (in my humble opinion.)

What if the child didn't just toss the starfish back into the ocean? What if they took the time to get to know the starfish and ask what it wanted? Maybe the starfish needed to talk to someone. Maybe they needed a hug. Maybe they had been through something traumatic and weren't ready to go back into the ocean to face more dangers. Maybe they needed someone to gently place them in a bucket of water and care for them.

Because this of course is not about starfish, but about people. Do we decide we know what's best based on our preconceptions or do we take the time to get to know someone and offer real help?

In the military in the past when a soldier was what they called 'shell shocked' their theory was to get them back into battle as soon as possible. What a tragedy!

Today, we understand Post Traumatic Stress Disorder a little better and know that it means someone has reached their personal limits. They need help. They need patience. They need time to heal.

I read so many stories on here that show there are many hurting people looking for understanding and love.

So instead of a starfish thrower I will strive to be a starfish listener. Some will just need a hand back into the water while others will need more. It takes time and a relationship to suss out the best way to help and acknowledging that it will look different for each one.

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