Posie ~ So you're a siphoner, right?

Chapter 12: Release

Penelope's POV

With me waiting alone in my room, biting my nails and aimlessly passing, you would think I am the one on the date.

To an outsider viewer it may look like that, but trust me this is not excited nerves. This is not the good butterflies. It's more being on the verge of puke.

Why am I so nervous? Easy. Josie Saltzman is going on her date with Landon today. Well actually in the next couple of minutes.

Don't worry I am not some creep watching her every move, I just know through Hope. Hope is helping her get ready.

Which is weird, right? Helping your old crush get ready to go on a date with your ex-boyfriend. Or, helping your friend go on a date while your other best friend is moping around over the loss of that said friend. It's just weird okay?

I wouldn't say I am mad a Hope though. She is a loyal friend, and because she and Josie have gotten closer, that means she is loyal to Josie too now.

Plus, Hope promised me to give me some details about before the date and after. But if the date goes well, I don't think I will want to know anyways.

So right now, Hope and Lizzie are probably doing Josie's hair, preparing her for a date she is looking forward to.

They probably giggle about the giddy feeling that Josie is feeling right now. Gushing over Landon, saying how great the date is going to be.

I kinda wish him and Hope ended badly because I know she is only saying good things about it. Sadly, those things are true and give something to Josie that I could not.

Jesus, I really need to be high. I debate on smoking right now, but Hope asked me to wait for her. Plus, I have a feeling that being high and alone might just make it worse.

I know that Josie will likely have a good time. I could see Josie and Landon together, but I wouldn't tell anyone that.

Landon will probably plan this big thing to impress her. This big romantic gesture. Something I would never do because I am a coward.

Putting yourself out there like that, it's just not something I do anymore. Yeah, I know I sound like a pathetic little kid. It's rather embarrassing that Landon is currently braver than I am.

If they start dating or not, I think it would be good for me to talk to Josie. In all honesty, if I was not a loser, I would tell her how I feel. Like really feel.

Not that I miss fucking her, but that I miss every part of her. I miss her caring smile, her pouty lips, her big eyes, her soft hands, her soothing voice, her gentle touch. I just miss everything. Just being in her presence.

I miss being someone that she liked. Someone that she wanted to spend time with. Now I am the last person she wants to see, and that dramatic change is a little too much for my heart to handle.

Fuck. I need to get out of this room.

I slink out of my room, throwing a text to one of my minions to see if they want to hang. They say they are just chilling in the main area of the school so I meet them.

I really not in the mood to talk, but at least they won't talk about Josie like Hope or MG would. I just need to get my mind off it.

I sit with them on the stairs, talking about useless crap. Talking about who slept with who, and who is mad at who.

It's hard to keep listening to this gossip, but I put a tiny false interest in it. I don't want to be distant enough where they start asking questions. I am not in the mood for that.