Posie ~ So you're a siphoner, right?

Chapter 13: Think

Josie's POV

Penelope Park is truly Satan. I feel like she charmed me again into going for her. She's the forbidden apple and I am Eve.

It's honestly like I have no control over it. My mind is saying one thing and my body just screams out for her.

But, oh God did it feel good. It felt electrifying to be touched by her again. Somehow she was better in every way that I remembered. Her movements were precise, yet relaxed. Soft yet rough. It really was just everything I needed.

I feel bad I didn't get to touch her, not because I feel bad she didn't get off, but because I wanted to feel her. I wanted to make her cum screaming my name. I wanted that control over her, that I seemly so easily just hand to her instead.

So, now heading back to my room after being thoroughly fucked my Penelope, my head is a little foggy. It's a mixture of lust, relief, regret, and anger. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of fondness.

Sure Penelope is an ass. She fucked up big and she just wants me to fuck, but I find it progressively harder to hate her.

Even when we were practicing fighting, she was soft with me. She reacted to every movement I made, and when she held me in the lock, it felt nice. But she doesn't need to know that.

It's hard to explain this mayhem occurring in my mind. The only way I am fathoming it is that maybe I like and want her, but I wish I didn't.

With Landon, it was the opposite. I really wished I liked him in that way because we would have been great together.

He would have treated me right, communicated with me and just be caring. But, we didn't have that pull and that I and she have.

Landon is like the vegetables that you don't want to eat but you know you should because they are good for you.

Then, Penelope is the dessert that you crave, but you know it isn't healthy for you. How I see it right now is that dessert is fine in moderation.

Maybe I shouldn't eat it every day, but once or twice a week wouldn't hurt.

I know that is might be dangerous to play in this grey area with her. Honestly, no matter what I or Penelope do or not do, this is not going to end well.

It was doomed since day one. So, if the ending is always going to be the same, might as well have some fun with it.

So, I think I am going to continue to fuck Penelope Park, but this time, no intimacy. No hope of things going further, no hope of her being a decent human being. I just had too high expectations going in last time, but now I know.

Once I finally reach my room, I stand there lost for a moment. Now what. Everyone is in class and I feel like I really should talk to someone about this.

My mind goes straight to Hope. Of course, I am not going to drag her out of class, but I shoot her a text asking if she is free after to talk.

I don't get a reply back but instead is given a knocking on my door. At first, I am worried it's Penelope wanting to talk. I honestly don't want to talk. Talking makes things real and makes me have to let down my walls to her. I am not willing to do that. Not anymore.

I sigh of relief leaves my lips when I open the door and a frazzled looking Hope is on the other side.

Wait did she run here?

"What happened to do you? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" I tilt my head in confusion, taking in her flustered state.

"I'm fine. Just.... Training." She says as if it's a question. I know she is probably hiding something so I don't know if I should push or not. I decide against it when I realize if there was something going on that was important she would tell me.