Living with Tayler Holder

Chapter 6: Food...

⚠️ trigger warning: mentions of calories and eating disorders in this chapter⚠️

Dinner time. My least favourite time of the day. As the years went on, I had been finding it harder and harder to eat but Tayler didn't know about this. Every item on a plate didn't look like food, but it looked like a number. A number of calories. Today we were having Taco Bell because Markell insisted I have every American take out there is during this summer even though I tried to tell him we have one in the UK. He just kept saying how they simply 'weren't the same'.

"Heyyy Grace! Come eat!" Markell said as he saw me frozen by the foot of the stairs. All eyes were now on me and I had to walk over to the table with a smile on my face before sitting down and facing the battle that was in front of me.

My hand reached forward towards the tacos on the plate but all I could hear were the comments and the numbers in my head.
"Are the 400 calories really worth it for a bite of that taco? You fat bitch! If you eat in front of them they're going to see how large you reallyyy are. You can't eat all that because you'll get fat. Fatter than you already are." Sometimes I was my own worst enemy. I stared blankly into space as I could feel eyes burning into the side of my head.
"Grace do you wanna talk?" Tayler said cautiously as all the others looked at me with concern. Tayler had finally figured it out. He realised I truly had a problem. Without saying a word Tayler led me upstairs to his room and we both sat on his bed without another word. Tayler pulled me in for a hug and before I knew it, I burst into tears whilst in his embrace.
"It's ok, it's ok, we'll deal with it together." He whispered before leaving a kiss on the top of my head. After about half an hour I had calmed down and was ready to talk.
"I try so hard, but I just can't. I just remember all the stuff people used to say and it just stops me from eating."
"Hear me out Grace, but one thing I don't understand is that you're not fat. You never were. You had abs and played soccer."
"You see Tayler, I had all of that before it was cool. I had that as a kid, and because I had no thigh gap, to them I was fat. I guess some things stick with you for longer than you imagine. I really wish I could explain it to you but how can I explain it fully if I myself don't really get it."
"Don't worry we'll all help you get there. Together. As a family."
We spent the rest of the night talking about a plan of action to get my eating back on track before slipping into casual conversation and laughing like there was no tomorrow. The last thing I remember is laughing over how short Bryce's arms look on camera before drifting off to sleep in Tayler's bed.

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The next morning I woke up to strange surroundings before remembering I was in Tayler's room but he was nowhere to be seen. I got out of his bed then came downstairs to a table with everyone sat around it. The table was beautifully decorated and there were loads of breakfast foods. Everyone was smiling and engaging in conversation before pausing as I got to the table.
"Morning Grace" Kelianne said. "Look at what Tayler did for us. For you." She said whilst holding her heart.
"I mean it's no big deal. I just wanted you to have loads of foods to select because I heard variety can be good to get eating back on track. So I cooked up a lil suttin' suttin'" Tayler said proudly.
"Well he did it with our help of course" Azra said pointing between Aisha and herself. All of them started to argue over who did the most work and for the first time in ages I actually ate a meal which I feel like I actually enjoyed and ate enough. Everyone appeared shocked, and to be honest so was I. It looks like I was getting back on track with my eating and soon I would be free from the shackles of my mind. Next thing I knew, the doorbell rang.