So This Is Love?

7

Hey guys, mental health has been in a plummet so soz for not uploading but heres the new chapter,

Enjoy!

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Cray's pov:

Today is the day that I come out as gay to click. I have so many doubts about it but if they don't accept me for who I am then they can fuck off.

But Lannan I really hope doesn't care. I would really like to keep him as at least a mate, if nothing more.

Sometimes I really feel like a disappointment, like I'm gay, I don't have a 'real' job, and I just kind of am there, like no one really has to deal with me, they're just being nice.

I mean no one could really get me out of their life. Like no one in click I mean. That would make the audience freak and everyone would gain suspicion.

Not to mention that when I come out to the world they know I could just be like, "yeah they were all homophobic assholes who exiled me when I came out," and end their youtube career.

I don't reckon I could do that though, just be like "Hey even though I loved these guys for years they are dicks so unsub" once you actually genuinely love someone, no matter how wrong they do you, you can never throw them under the bus.

Still though, if they're homophobic then I guess I would be leaving Click.

That's a fucking scary thought. Click is kind of my life right now, it's the main reason I'm happy.

Without even realizing it I subconsciously grab my keys, wallet, and phone and start walking to the door.

I guess my subconscious mind is ready for this.

I take a deep breath, stand with my hand on the door knob, let the breath out, and step out of my door.

No backing out now, Cray.

The whole drive to the Click house is in complete and utter silence. No music, no radio static, my phones on vibrate, I'm just left with my thoughts.

And those thoughts... well, they aren't pleasant.

My brain keeps telling me that they're homophobic and that they're going to kick me from Click and I'm going to have to start over everything and make new friends and find out how to function being gay and lonely and... and...

I begin hyperventilating. This is horrifying. Do all gay people go through this?! Cause this fucking sucks.

Remind me to be more supportive next time someone comes out to me.

Well I guess that's easy coming from a gay man. Of course I'll be more accepting because I am what they are.

Straight people should have to come out. Bitches. They couldn't handle it.

Without even realizing how long I've been driving I look up and notice I'm in the Click drive way. They've all probably seen me pull in, I expect Elliott will be popping out any second "CRAY! COME IN!"

But do I want to come in?

Just as expected, Ell- shit. Not Elliott. Lannan comes out and waves me in.