So This Is Love?

8

Cray

I'm pushed into a dark bathroom, lips on my neck, soft mumbles about how hot I am.

I look up, making eye contact with Lannan, then I wake up.

Fuck my dreams.

I wake with a start, looking around for Lannan.

Then I realize he's not there, because he's in his room, right next to mine.

I shake my head, of course it was a bloody dream why would Lannan ever do that.

I notice I'm drenched in sweat and I have a boner, I get up, deciding to take a shower.

I sigh loudly and hear Lannan grunt next door.

"Enough with the dramatics Cray I think fucking Mars could hear that sigh"

I laugh a bit, good to know it's not uncomfortable with us.

I make my way to the shower, hearing Lannan get up in the other room. I push the noise off, assuming he's just getting water. I take a long shower, I need it. I've had a long day.

The water is so hot that it creates a warm, comforting cloud around me. I feel exhausted, their was so much excitement today that it drained me.

As I step out of the shower I can't help but feel a little disappointed. It felt nice, but the water was getting cold.

I wipe down the mirror, staring at myself, then I smile. I'm out. I'm gay. I'm proud.

I've never loved myself more then I do in this moment.

I sigh, a content sigh, and exit the bathroom, wearing just my bath robe.

"Hey," Lannan smirks "you took bloody years"

I screech like a teenage girl "LANNAN! I'm naked!"

He laughs, falling back onto my bed "Oh put some clothes on princess. I'll turn around" he laughs some more, shoving his face down into my bed.

I grunt, glaring daggers at him, then rip clothes out of my drawers and go to the bathroom to get dressed.

I can hear Lannan chuckling as I close the door and I can't help but smile. His laugh is cute.

After I get fully clothed, spraying on some cologne for good measure, I exit the bathroom, huffing at Lannan as I do, and I sit at my desk chair.

"What're you doing?"

His eyes soften, back getting more stiff.

"I just wanted to talk about. You know. Gay. You're the only person I know who also had to come out to all their best friends."

I melt at his voice, it's soft and nervous. He sounds so... scared? Broken?

I move over to my bed, pulling Lannan into a hug. I wonder if this was harder for him then it was for me.

"Yeah, it was really bloody scary. I've been debating telling them for weeks now. Been thinking thing like 'what if they don't accept me' 'what if I'm kicked from Click' heaps of scary things" I say, releasing Lannan.

He smiles at me, nodding. And I realize I have someone who understands the shit show I've been through these past few weeks.

"When'd you know?" Lannan asked, laying down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I blush deep red. I can't tell him the truth. Because then he'll know I like him. Or maybe I can tell him the truth... I mean he asked.

I look him directly in the eyes, a light blush on my cheeks. Lannan has beautiful eyes, they're dark brown right now, since it's dark in my room. But they get lighter as they get closer to the pupil.

I think about everything, all the consequences of telling him if I knew I was gay when I kissed him, and as I finally decide on what to do, I take in his eyes once more, taking his hand, and whispering

"When I kissed you"

3rd person pov

Lannan blushes deep red, looking into his lap, but not letting go of Cray's hand. Cray hooks his finger under Lannans chin, lifting it and smiling at him.

"When did you know?" Cray ask's, trying not to let on that he's pretty sure Lannan also found out when he kissed him.

Lannan squeezes Cray's hand, smiling. "When you kissed me"

It's a quiet, content moment between the two after thats said. They're staring into each others eyes, a million thoughts rushing through their heads, then Cray ask,

"Can I kiss you?" Lannan nods, and then they're kissing, and they're both so content, in each other's arms, as it should always be.