October Academy

Chapter 34

I wear the hoodie Darcy gave me last night and pull it tight around my face. Maybe, just to spite him, I should walk around campus with his shirt on, not bothering to hide whose room I came from.

I want to cry.

My feet drag as I leave the room. I keep my head down, not because I'm trying to hide – well partly because of that – but mostly because I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest.

What is with his mood swings? Which Darcy is the real one? The one that is repulsed by me? Or the one that slowly looks me up and down and grits his teeth?

One of them is a faker – but which one? And why?

I bump into someone as I make my way down the stairwell, someone else who seems to be trying to blend in. "I'm sorry," I accidentally say. Careless.

"Jade?" she says.

She looks back at me, dark brown eyes locking onto mine. She looks at me like I'm filth, like I'm dirt beneath her feet. "Cheeky girl," Alyssa whispers.

She must've been spending the night with Drake. And now she's caught me spending the night here too – but with who? She must be wondering.

I keep my head down and push past her. No one else notices me. Darcy was right.

.

.

.

That night, I sit in my room in my bra and undies. I do the unthinkable. I pose in front of my desk mirror – it's mostly covered by books and assorted shit – and I take a photo. It's dark, so you can mostly see my silhouette. But I know it looks sexy.

I post it to my snapchat story.

I lie by my bed impatiently, waiting for Darcy to see it, to say something. To change his mind. For someone to give me some attention. Between Darcy and Callum, I feel so ugly and undesirable. I just want someone to tell me that I'm beautiful, that I'm hot or that they want me.

What am I thinking? Am I out of my mind? I just uploaded a photo of myself half naked for the universe to see.

The first text I get is from Xander.

Xander: Who u trying to impress?

Me: None of your business.

Xander: You're going to regret this in the morning.

Me: I'm going to delete it, I already do.

I slide off the chat, ready to delete the photo. But first, I want to check if Darcy has even seen it. He hasn't. But Callum has. My cheeks burn red. Oh my God. This suddenly got real very fast.

Callum: I saw it. You can delete it now.

My eyes widen. What an asswipe!

Me: It wasn't for you.

Callum: Delete it. Now.

My heart starts beating rapidly. Is this him trying to be my big brother now? He can't kiss me so he's going to change tactics?

Me: Make me.

Callum: Don't be childish.

That hits deep, so much that my heart sinks down to the pits of my stomach. That bottomless feeling, like your insides are a cold dark well.

I don't know how to respond that doesn't make me seem more immature and desperate.

He texts again.