Amidst The Reverie (boyxboy)

Chapter 25 : Home

"Do you think there's a possibility of multiple realities?" 

"Have we moved on to drunk conversations now?"

"Be serious. Do you think there is?" 

Eli paused for a second. The question lingers in his mind. The sky has settled into a dark blue, from where they were sitting, the city glows under them. The lights twinkled like stars in the sky.

"Maybe. Must be." He looked at Mateo. "With how little and short our life really is, how could we know for sure, right?" 

Mateo smiled at him. The moonlight illuminating half of his face. 

"Yeah. But just imagine how many Eli and Mateo are sitting right here, right now. In different realities?" 

Eli smiled at the thought, at the feeling flourishing in his chest. It's like a flower blooming. 

"Probably thousands, millions even." 

"Infinite" Mateo said and Eli can't help the grin that spread through his face. His insides are melting and it feels like gooey in there. Probably not a great metaphor but that's what he was feeling. Like riding a rollercoaster and then completely forgetting to put your seatbelt on and now you're just plunging to the ground. 

Because that's how being in love with Mateo feels like. Like plunging 50 feet to the ground with no safety net, no cords holding you back up. Just the sheer thought of falling and knowing that there's no going back. 

"If you could live in one of those other realities, would you? If you could have everything you want in that reality?" Eli asked. He could hear his own heart beating hard. He wondered if Mateo could hear it too. 

Mateo furrowed his eyebrows for a minute as he considered the question. The wind picked up a little and Eli could feel the rising of his hair because of the cold air. 

For a while, Eli thought that he wouldn't respond but then Mateo hummed. His voice was fleeting through the breeze.

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"Because then it wouldn't be real." 

"But it is real. Just in another reality." 

"Yeah. But I'd know that it isn't real. That life isn't really mine. The Mateo from whatever that is isn't really me." Mateo looked at Eli. "I'd rather suffer in reality than live in a fantasy world, you know?" 

He does. He knows what living in reality and living in fantasy actually is. He knows how happy he is in one and how miserable he is in the other. But even if he was happy living in the fantasy, there's still a gnawing thought within him that just knows that that wasn't his life. Of course it wasn't. And it made him feel guilty somehow, to have left the real people that he loved in this reality. 

Maybe he'd choose to suffer in this world too. 

Blinking fast, Eli nodded his head. A cellphone ringing broke their staring contest making Mateo search for his phone in his pocket. Eli gazes forward. He acts nonchalant enough to not look like he was eavesdropping into the conversation. But Mateo is just an inch closer to him and he could practically feel his movements through his own skin. 

"Yeah. I know. Mama, I'm going now. Okay yeah. Bye. Love you." 

As soon as Mateo pocketed his phone, Eli asks. "Your mom?" 

"Yeah. Are you hungry?" 

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"You sure it's okay?"