I Fell In Love Again

My child Scorpio

My first born and last born will be my blonde little son. He was tiny when I first held him he still is but I no longer feel hatred towards him. Yes I  hated my child. Most father's love their child when they first get one but I don't think I was acting like a father who has a new born baby at all. I hated Scorpio for coming out and making her loose blood. I hated myself for telling her I would like a kid. I hated every one but I hated my child more than I could hate myself.
I was definitely wrong for hating my own child, but the pain I felt was very unrealistic almost out of this world. I felt this type of pain during the 6th year of Hogwarts, when I was forced to become a death eater, which I could never become because I liked people living their life not destroying it for joy.
I felt I was in my sixth year again and felt all kinds of pain and regret. But that did not mean I could hate my kid I started loosing my anger towards the child he and I both lost Astoria but I acted like it was only me. I actually had seen her he had never even seen her which made me feel worse . I had to become the father everyone dreamed of, everyone including me.