❝Five years of darkness and solitude. For five years I was alone and torturing myself with not knowing what to do and how to recover. The tumor affected me very strongly. So strong that even the most beloved people turned away from me. Specifically, I released them from myself, unable to torture them with myself. I'm glad I was able to do at least that. All the people I interacted with suddenly didn't understand me anymore, didn't understand my behavior, and left me alone. Same as I used to be. Before Eda. I became a cold, serious, unfriendly, workaholic robot again. This robot was known to everyone and no one cared about it anymore like in the past. Everyone around imagined it as in a children's toy store: twisted in a cage, programmed to do only a few things, unchanging, heartless, not like other toys. But I, that robot, had feelings inside. They were on fire inside me, I fought them every day, but no one noticed. Maybe no one was interested in them, or maybe I just didn't let anyone do it because I once opened the door of my soul and heart to just one person, but that person left me too. It disappeared like milk fluff in the fog, and besides the fluff, I no longer saw the rest of the meadow, and I got lost in the same fog myself. That person was Eda. She was the only one who knew the real me and with whom I felt real, but ... life not always smiles and gives you happiness, not for everyone life opens his arms. He didn't do that to me either, life turned his back to me. And I turned it over to Eda. I couldn't see how sad she was, I couldn't hear her future plans with me when I didn't know if I would be in them. Every time I heard at least one sentence, I was angry with myself because I knew it wouldn't come true because of me, because of my illness. Before my disease, I wanted to start a big family with Eda, I was looking forward to starting this journey with her, but again, life didn't give me that. After surgery, I learned that I may have trouble having a family so that my children can inherit my illness. At that moment, I buried my dream of having a family. Eda lived in this dream more and more every day, but I didn't. So all I had to do was pretend I didn't want all that anymore. I lied to myself, I lied to Eda, I lied to everyone, but in the end, I believed in myself. I believed I wasn't really created to be a dad and have a family. But now, five years later, it all comes back to me again. When I thought I was releasing all these thoughts, they took over again, together with my daughter. Daughter. Which I didn't know. Which I didn't see. Whose existence I didn't think for a second. My daughter, a copy of Eda. What will I need to do? I don't know. Do I imagine myself as a dad? No. Can I be a good dad? No. Will my daughter hate me? Probably yes. Did I fall even further into my own darkness? Yes. ❝✯
This is Serkan. The one we know, the one we see on our screens. In our minds, he is probably remembered not only as Serkan Bolat, but also as Robot Bolat. At least that's what we really called him in the first season. This season, we could probably add another word to his name - Dad. Because our romantic, hilarious robot has become a father, just a little differently. I'm sure we'll see a lot of beautiful and meaningful scenes between dad and daughter this season, but I think Serkan's inside and his real emotions will be left a little on the sidelines. From the very first episodes, I thought and wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling, but we didn't see it all. Serkan I understand best of all this season, perhaps because in some respects he is close to me. Watching each of his scenes, especially with Kiraz, I pay close attention to him and feel his emotions, so I decided, with the help and suggestions of some of my first story readers, to write the story from Serkan's perspective. As I mentioned, I think Serkan is a bit forgotten this season and we don't and won't see the big side of his sensitivity and feelings that we know he has , I hope here you will find our gentle Serkan. In this story, everything will be on Serkan's side only, everything will be through his eyes. The story won't develop in small steps, I will write certain parts without including any extraneous things or insignificant scenes. I don't know how long this story will be, but again I wish everyone here will find that Serkan which we'll see less on screens. Good reading!
*I also want to remind you what if you see some mistakes while reading this story, ignore it. English isn't my native language, so I admit, I can make mistakes.*
with love,
Ed ღ
YOU ARE READING
I'm hero
FanfictionAm I a father? Am I ready for that? I have a daughter? Did I deserve her? Why does life play with me? I don't rise to the light, I sink into the dark. Or maybe I will finally see the ray now?