I'm hero

𝓲'𝓶 𝓭𝓪𝓭

This girl was different. I can't explain to myself why suddenly I felt something for this little child that I can't understand myself. But she was different. I didn't like children, maybe because they were too intrusive, maybe because I didn't know how to communicate with them and never had the slightest connection, or maybe because I was doomed of my situation. Even with the son of my friend, Engin, I had never been close and I had never come close to him. I didn't like the kids, and they didn't like me. But this girl was something exceptional. The day I met her on the road, I couldn't leave her there. I never thought that sometime in my life I would stop in the middle of the road because of an unfamiliar child and take him with me. But that day was different. I don't know who shot me in the head to act like I did that day, but from that day on, life seemed to tie me to that girl named Kiraz,  like an invisible thread. Every day I met her somewhere and couldn't just turn around and walk away. I was annoyed by her curiosity, her exaggerated childish agility, but at the same time, I admired her. I never showed it, I always behaved as cold as possible, but somewhere deep inside me I liked her. I loved her smile, her eyes reminded me of Eda, she was smart, and again I realized she wasn't an ordinary child.

But there was no way I could believe she was Melek's daughter. Yes, she had similar qualities to her, but Kiraz was more similar to Eda. The more often I saw them next to each other, the more similar they seemed to me. But probably my mind was playing with me again and that's why I imagined everything in this way. The desire to have a family with Eda in the past was still somewhere in me, and when I saw Eda with the child, it all came to the surface. I was strange for me, but at the same time I was curious. I didn't want to ask anything, but something didn't give me peace of mind. I knew I haven't a right to interfere in Eda's life, especially in that little girl's.

✯✯✯

I tried not to allow myself to get close to that girl, but after today, when she hugged me and called me her a hero, I realized that this time I wouldn't really be able to do it. I am a hero. For the first time in my life, someone called me his hero. And it was a small child that is hard to please. I didn't look terrible in the child's eyes for the first time and he liked me, I felt it. For the first time, the child made me smile sincerely, with all my heart. That unexpected hug of hers was even more special than the words she said. For the first time in five years, that second I forgot all the worries and troubles when that girl hugged me. And, oddly enough, I felt like I was with Eda again. But that thought I quickly removed from my mind, and just enjoyed the hug. No one, absolutely no one, has hugged me so sincerely and gently over the years. At that moment, I felt some kind of inexplicable lightness and after the hug I realized that I didn't want Kiraz to disappear from my life. At least for a while. Because she brings light into my dark day for at least a few minutes.
The same day, I saw her for a long time, she was running and playing around me when suddenly she sat down in front of me on a chair.

- You're sad and distressed. - she said, looking straight at me. This sentence of her surprised me because I didn't understand how such a small child could understand what I was truly feeling.

- What? Why do you think so?

-I see it in your eyes, they're sad. I know you are trying not to show it, but I always notice when people don't feel good. I always notice that with my mom.

- Ah..I'm..no, I'm fine. - I turned back to the computer.

- You're lying, but if that's better for you, okay. Serkan Bolat, if you want you can talk to me. I'm a kid, but mom says I can listen very well. You are my friend and I want to help my friends.

My heart missed one beat. This child is perfect, I thought. She understands me, she considers me her hero and friend. She feels me like other people don't. I don't know how it can be that this strange kid feels that way to me, but it's amazing.