Childhood friend | jujutsu kaisen x male reader| rewriting

Special chapter! (Repeating cycle)

*For getting 200 views I thought I'd do something...*
*So here it is!*
*angst, death, and insanity*
.
.
.
In lands long ago, in different timelines, and places.
How come is it that we always meet?
.
Why do I remember all of them?
.
The happy ones..
————————————-
"Come on Yuji, let's go to Megumi's house to play!" I shout excitedly, Itadori hums in agreement.
"Yeah! I'm sure he'll be happy to see us!" He said as we both run to the house our other friend is living in.
1st time
————————————-
The gloomy ones...
————————————-
"I wish I didn't have to leave you guys behind.." I spoke through the phone, not daring to put it on face time, not wanting the two to see my tearing eyes.
After all... I won't be able to see them for a long time.
The dream I had of them dying, still fresh and stuck in my mind too.
2nd time
————————————-
The deaths....
————————————-
"No... Please.. No.. Not again.. Please, I can't take this anymore!" I yell, with tears running down my face, as for the 12th time my friends have died.
I feel like I'm slowly being drowned in my guilt, the hands of fate dragging me further down this twisted fate.
"Will this ever end?" I though to myself, as I hope it will not repeat.

Nothing I have done so far has worked, as the clocks ticking echoes through my head, getting louder and louder.
Strings of red pull me away, taking me to the next world to start over, this time their are creatures that lurk in the deep ocean waters.
———————————-
Is this world even real?
———————————
Walking through the world, I see in nothing but black and white, their is no difference.
Just like blood will always bleed red, they are always there.
Megumi, Yuji, Nobara, Satoru, and others.
They always look at me with such innocent eyes, knowing nothing that is to come, their death awaits them, crawling by their feet, ready to drag them down.
This is... the 24 time.
——————————
Is this insanity?
—————————-
I now look at the world with dull eyes, their is no hope of saving them.
Why bother if it only hurts you more?
I see how well they live without me, seeing how the words they said meant nothing.
"We can't live without you!"
Liars the lot of them, though I do wonder how much longer it'll take till this one will end..
Will it be destroyed by a demon? Or be killed by a mass murderer named Toji?
What ever it'll be, death will not wait.
2̶̹͎̜̐͌͒9̸̯̻̍ṯ̸̞͝͝h̴̻̦͑̈́ ̴̹̮̀t̸̰͌̀i̴͈̒̿͐m̴̀͘͜ē̵̯̪͎̌
——————————-
Fate is cruel
—————————-
I wonder if I chose the right choice..
Fighting my friends that do not know me, to get rid of the guilt eating away at me.
What is right or wrong? I'm starting to remember less and less.
The voices tell me that it's fine, theirs no need to worry of such thoughts.
Facing Nobara, I flash a wicked grin.
"Let's see what you got, little hero"
4̵̡̢̻̘̈́͗͛͝ͅ2̸̘̒n̷̻͊͌ḑ̶̡̳̮̙͕̈ ̴̨͖̺͓̜̫̓̎t̸͇͒͐̋͑̊̄ͅì̵̧̧͎̦̺̱̾̀m̸̡̛͉̼̥̳̋͋ẽ̸̛͇̜̲̅͋͊̑
—————————
Y̵̧̢͈͔͇͚̘͈̥̓̌̈̅̍͛ȩ̵̛̘̟̳̮̫͚̪͉̟͖̳͕̑́̉̍̽̈́̒́̉̀̚t̷̪̭̟̝̺̙́̋̄̍͐̈̑͘ ̸̱̇̃̀̈̒͛͐̊̓̿́̾̇̇̕͠m̸̢̜̦͍͙͎̩͇͆͐̀̄ŷ̴͉̗̣̽̈̋̕͝ ̸̧̲̬͇̼̳̣͎̦͐l̸̪͇͝ͅi̸̭̯͔͆̀̑̍̀͐͋̓͋͗̀̽͒̆͠͝f̷̤̌̋̀̔̾̃̈́̎̿̇̈̓̿̾͝e̷̻̘̻̓̑͂̈̆̍̓́̒̄͌̃͝͝ ̶̧̰̯̟̣̯͎̭̠̝͔̹̦̹͛̄̌̃͑͗̐͌͐̅̅̓̾̚ȋ̵͖̭̫̋̍͋̅̔̇͛̓͗̈͝͝͝s̶͇͔͓̤̽̾̈́̿͆̄̊̑͂̀̚̚ ̴̭̙̗̗͖̙̹̭̳̅̎̿̅̽͂̈̑̊̕͘n̷̻̻̞̲̮̝͉͖̲̎́̋̈́̍͂͋͗̈́͐̈̚̕͠͠e̷̢̢̧̢̧̻̝̰͔͍͗͜v̵͇̌e̵̡̡̻̙̖̦̫̱̣̰̐r̴̨̛̥̯͇̙̘̯̓͛̿̐̀̈́̓̓̾͛͜͝͝͝͝ͅ ̸̧̢͈̥̙̣̼̟͎̺̰̝̞̤̟͖̉̎̾͊͂̑͋̃͜͠͝ȩ̵̢̜̥̠͈͎̪̜̭̫̀͒̎̒̉̑̃͝ͅn̷̺̺̬͔̠̜̖͚̫̮̺̘͖͍͌̒͋̌̚ḑ̶̬̼͇̝̲̗̜͉̪̻͌́͑́̑̽͐͐͋̕͝ͅi̵̢̛͗̃̆̅͝n̶̛̺̫̣͌͋̃̽̀̂̑͋̾̎̽͘g̶̢̤̱̑̓̒̒͑͌̀̓̉̈̂̈́̄͋͘̕
————————-
I watch as the world burns to ashes beneath my feet, as the world of half human and animals, ends by my hands.
My cat tails sways with my every step, my ears flicker around, listening to the sounds, that fuel my rampage.
Someone grabs my leg, stopping me from moving away from the flames I set alight.
Seeing it as a face I remember so well, yet it's so different at the same time.
"Why? We did nothing wrong.." the male with pink hair says, his tiger tail scorched and Burt from the raging flames.
"Because, if I can't save you. Then why bother in the first place? It's better to just end your suffering"
I said as finally slam my foot on his head, killing him.
6̶̹̞̳̽̐̃̾͌́́̏͂̿͂̚͠7̶̧̡͕͎̠͉̭̙͚̥͚̾́̔̀̾́͘t̵̰̬̖̫̩̓̆͒̔̊̉̊h̵̖͗̋̋̐̎̒́̌́̒̕ ̵̨̢͇͇̜̱̲̲̱̪̦͖̌̈̓̓̎̿͋̓̕ṭ̴̭̟͠ͅi̵̬̜̩͊̏͗̍̾͛͌̈́́͌́͝m̷̡̛͍͕̪͔̮͕̮̦̔̆̀͆̎̉̽̾͘͘̚͝ë̵̛̳̗̞̈́̀͊̇̂͆͜
—————————-
Ę̸̢̛̛̭̳̝̠͖͈̺̻̮̩̯̭͖́̐́͊̂̉̔̐̊͌͌̈́͐̔̂͑̏̀͑̈́̏͗̾̂̍̀͊̀͂̚̕͝͝N̸̡̢̢̧̡̢̛͉̝̞̮̪͇͓̙̱̺̼͙͈͈̘̣̬̱͎̦̭̦̳̘̗͓̟͚̠̠̥̱͇̟̮̈͒̀͆̎̒̒͋͗̊͐̄́͊̔͌̀͂͋̓̈́̅̌̄͋̒̈́͑̏̇̚͘͝͝͝͠D̵̛̤͇́͗͐͆̂̋̾̐̀́́̈̽̒̀̔̽̆̊̈͆̍̓̓̈́̍̈́̑̀̿͘̚̚͝͝͠ ̵̡̛̛͔̪͔̜̻̮̞͍̗͓̻̹͍̳̺̗̠̭̠̼̝̟̥̟̭̦͍̩̣̘̝́̊̅̇͂̽̓̂̉͘͜͠Ḿ̵̡̨̻̣̰͓̲̲̘͎̳̬̮̣͈͙̜̫̭̭̣̪̠͈͍͕̹͔̪̰̱̰͙̺͚͕͚̺̭̌̐̉̑́̎̑͗̅̈́͒̈́̎̔͋̒̏̈͛̄͒̋̇͗̆͋͂́̚͘̕͘̚͘̕͜͜͝͝ͅȨ̷̨̛̛̰͇̝͎̦̝̟͇̯̮͇̮̯̳͚͉̽̊̓͋͛̄͆̉͋̿́̿̾̎̋̾̅͂̿̀͛̃̋͗̽͋̚͜͝!̶̧̢̱̗͚̜͚̯͉̹̻̹̲̖̫̗̞̻̙͈̺̬͚̫̙̪̹͖͚̝̝̦̯̹̥̲͙̑͒̆͛̓͊͊
—————————-
"HA..HAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
I can't stop! The tears that I thought I could no longer cry, why do they run again?
Was it the look of hope in their eyes that I could finally see?
Their begging for something that will not change? Like when they died and I could do nothing?
Or am I breaking under the guilt I can not be forgiven for?
Even if I ask forgiveness, they will not remember.
The voices still scamper around my mind, whispering things that would be fun yet so cruel.
I can not help but to laugh at their pain, their just feeling what i have been feeling since the 6th time.
They always ask "Why did you do this?" Never asking what I've been through, to turn out this way.
The world full of fairies and mermaids is no more, maybe next time.
I'll end it a different way.
8̶̮͎͎̥͈̯̺͉̟͔̖̓̈̉̅̆͗͛̊̃̌̚̕5̶̡̨̡̝͎̲͈̪͍̺͇̗̰͔̲͕̙̺̽̒͗͋̾͗͐̆̏͘͜͜͝t̸̢̛̳̯̘̘͈̤̘͙͚͇͇̍͂͂̂̌̓̅͛̔̀̿̔̊̍́̏͊̈́̽̄͒̐̄͝͝͝͝ḧ̴̢͖̮̺͍͎̫̖̖̱́̒́͑̂̚͝ ̴̡̨̧̧̨̧̛̛̛͉̫̗̯̫͚̣̖͍̖̦͚̝͎͇͓̰̩̦̂̍͑͐͆̐͑͒̈̑͒͋̍̎̂̒̔̓́̉͛̀̉̕̚̚̕t̵̖͍̫̮̱̮̘̖̯̗͉̣̬̽̾̇̐̔̋̂̾̃͗͌͋̍̄̏̇ͅͅī̶̢̨̗̲̣̗̞̞͓̜̼̹̝̲̲͕͈̘͇͎̥͓̩͔̪͉̰̃̎̎̀͐̀͒̈̀̏͒̊̄̂̚͘͜͝m̶̦͊̓̐̎̿͋͋ę̸̡̢̢̨̡̢̖͖̫͙̦̤͓͓̲̪̙̠̗̣͓̤͗͐̈́͋͜
————————-
WHY!
———————-
I try and I try, but each time I do, it takes me to another world.
Not even my own death will stop this never ending suffering.
The voices seemed quieter then, than they are now, their making my head hurt and spin.
I haven't been sleeping well for the last 20 times, how could I? Death surrounds my life, it follows my every move.