Cancer ❁ Muke

Chapter 6

It was a strange feeling I had when he sat down next to me. I would like to say I felt perfectly at ease, but that wasn't the case. But regardless, I loved every minute of it. In spite of the nervous tension I felt, it was wonderful. I even spoke to him a little bit, not much, but some. And then the movie ended, the night was over, and we left.

Seeing Luke that night was like injecting straight oxygen into a dying fire. Everything I had felt for so long came bursting to the surface, all the feelings I was sure had faded into the distance came back just as strong as before. It wasn't easy for me to handle, and falling asleep that night took much longer than I would have liked. But I got through it, I survived.

You might be wondering why I never made a move with this boy, and to be honest, I wonder the same thing. Frankly, I don't know. Everybody I talked to about Luke told me to "go for it", but something inside just wouldn't let me. I know a large part of it was fear, but not a fear of rejection, rather, a fear of acceptance. As crazy as it sounds, I feared that he felt the same way, that we'd get together but there would be no connection, that I would let him down, and that all I had felt for so long would have been for nothing. But that was not all. I could never get myself to understand what would cause him to have feelings for me in the first place. I do not see myself as being his type of guy, and taking into account all the people he knows, and the type of people he usually associates with, why on God's green earth would he ever like a guy like me? But there were times when I got the impression that he did, and still I was too afraid to do anything about it.

So, just as before, I tried my best to move on and forget. Time went by, just as it always does, and before long eight months had passed. I saw him occasionally during that time, but each of those moments occurred like that night at the theater. Nothing ever changed, and I didn't think it ever would. But one day in March, everything did.

Ayyyyyyyyyyy, should I update another chapter or should I just wait few days (⌒.−)＝★