Lost one

3

It has been a month since Miranda signed their separation papers and she was doing okay. Her therapist told her to take all of their pictures down. She didn't need a constant reminder of a failed marriage. So that's what Miranda was doing right now. Putting them carefully in boxes before putting them in the garage.

She took her rings off and put them into her jewelry box. After everything was out of the way. Miranda took a deep breath. Going to therapy helped with her ocd and she learned that it had gotten out of hand and which is what caused her to tell Ben to leave in the first place. After getting her medication in order. She decided to go to self and relationship therapy.

When Miranda first arrived she sat down and began to talk about Ben and hers relationship.

The lady sat and listened for a while as she told her about Ben giving her papers to separate.

"And what did you do?” the therapist asked.

"I signed them but I went off first because he-

She shook her head at her once more. "Miranda, the first thing I want to work on is you. Let's focus on empowering yourself. The only person you can change is you." The doctor said sitting across from her and she nodded.

They went through 6 things and Miranda realized that there are a lot of things she did wrong in their marriage and what could have led to were they were.

Miranda went through the steps and when the woman got to step four, look to your past. There were a lot of things from her pass relationship and the fact that she was so young that she carried into this marriage and she didn't realize.

Step 5. Was to have compassion "As you make connections to your own past, you will start to feel more compassion for your struggles. You can extend this same sentiment to your partner, seeing ways that they may be reacting based on painful experiences from their own past. When conflicts arise, you should try to see the scenario from their eyes and understand how they see the situation." The therapist said looking at Miranda.

"But I-

"Give me an example of an argument that got really bad. You tell me your side and I'll try to give his opinion from his side and we will compare and see." Dr. Shaw interjected and after going through examples. Miranda felt stupid almost.

"Okay, we are on to step 6...communicate how you feel."

"Me and my husband were great with communicating." Miranda said with a smug smile.

"How Miranda? when it seems to me that whatever you say go and his things, thoughts and feelings were irrelevant."

"Uh." Miranda gasped.

"Of course, nobody is perfect, and we are bound to mess up at times. Every couple consists of two separate, imperfect people, so when we do mess up, all we can do is repair. Instead of letting things fester or build, how you both do with not speaking and him sleeping on the couch. we can make sense of what went wrong and interrupt destructive actions. When we take these steps of interrupting harmful behaviors in our relationship and identifying patterns from our past, we start a journey of self-discovery that can be both deeply painful and richly rewarding."

Miranda wanted to roll her eyes but refrained. This woman basically told her that she was the problem in their relationship and only faulted Ben 3 times. She thought therapist wasn't suppose to place blame but it was clear as day that she was the issue.

"Another thing before you go Miranda. Yes you are a queen but you married a King. Queen and kings rule together, make decisions together. You both are a team and it's only natural for a king to bow to his queen but just like chess a queen protects her king. It's your job to protect who he is, support him, listen to him, love him, be there, don't suppress him and undermine him. Shine with him and love and respect him equally as he does you. Think about that and I will see you next week."

Miranda went home and she sat for a while thinking about everything the woman said. "It's all my fault." Miranda cried.

Next week came and Miranda opened the door as her bell rung.

"Thank you for coming." Miranda said to the woman who had a duffle bag in her hand.

"Missy." Miranda called and her dog came running out of her bed.

"This is Sydney and she's going to train you." Miranda said looking at her.

Miranda walked to the back and she laid down. She woke up when she heard Sydney get loud.

Miranda scrunched her face up as she sat up. "Is she on the phone?" Miranda questioned sliding out of the bed.

"NO, Missy." The woman yelled.
"Bitch in the bed."

"Did you just call my dog a bitch?" Miranda asked in disbelief.

"Uh it's a tactic I use. After all that's what female dogs are called" Sydney responded.

Miranda scuffed clearly pissed.

"Come here Missy." Miranda said bending down and she watched as her dog ran to her in attempt to get away from this psycho.

"We won't be needing your services anymore. I don't care what you use. You don't call mine a bitch. You don't scare animals into getting them to be obedient. That creates psychological problems and chaos down the line. " Miranda stressed and she was calling her company and writing a review. Miranda watched her leave and closed the door behind her.
"Mommy is so sorry about this. Letting you get abused in your own home." Miranda cooed rocking her back and forth.

Ben finished unpacking his last box to his new apartment. He looked around and he sighed sitting down.

It was a two bed room apartment with a nice balcony, that wasn't too far from the station.

He couldn't believe that after 8 almost 9 years. He was back to square one. Ben walked to his bed room and made sure that he put all his clothes away and everything was good in there.

Ben laid back on the bed and his thoughts flowed right to Miranda naturally like it always did. Even before they ever started dating, she had away of captivating his mind.

He was brought out of his thoughts as his phone rung.

"Hey Benji."

"Hey Ros." Ben replied.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah I just finished unpacking and putting everything away at my place." Ben stated.

"And you miss her like hell." Rosalind added.

"And it feels like hell. It's been a month and I have tried everything to forget her but our memories or just the memories of her invade my mind. I have went through many mood swings. Mostly anger, confusion and sadness. One day I feel like I moved on and I'm better, other days it feels like I just gave her the papers. I have tried hard but I can't stop missing her." Ben said frustrated.
"It has only been a month Ben." Ros voiced.

"I know and I miss her so bad. I wonder what she's doing all the time and if she's okay. I know that the people at her hospital knows about us because I went to drop a patient off and received so many angry stares, Miranda is not the type of person who would share something like that so I wonder if something happened to her and I actually looked for her that day I was there and didn't see her. I asked a resident and they said she was off for a while." Ben expressed rubbing his face.

"So I'm confused are we hating her or loving her?"

"No we don't hate her, not even for all the wrong things she has done. I would never hate her. My heart loves this woman but I'm just trying to get it to catch up with my brain.

"Ben you are still in the process of learning to live with out her. The only solution Ben is healing. You have to fight with your thoughts. Remind your heart why you are here. Trust this process. It's a time sensitive process and eventually if you can't unlove or unlike her. It's a sign that you need to forgive her." Rosalind explained and Ben nodded.

"Seems like to me that if you would have just came home after she put you out and talk with some good sex then you wouldn't be where you are now." Ros added.

Ben rolled his eyes. "If I would have did that nothing would have ever got solved and I didn't need to sleep with Miranda. That woman has a powerful weapon between her legs. I would have forgotten all about her telling me to leave. " Ben stressed seriously.

"Really ? It's that bomb." Rosalind asked with a laugh at her brother's explanation.

"You know I always said she was a witchy witchy woman and I think that falls under that category. You know I got around growing up.

"Got around Ben? You were a hoe." Rosalind stated seriously causing Ben to chuckle.

"Well out of all the women I have experienced nothing compares to Miranda. It’s like she casted a spell or some sort. Soul ties are real. I tell you"

"And out of all the women you never loved anyone how you love her either. That's why it's so good because it feeds your soul and craving of that person. "

"Okay see. This is why I'm having a hard time moving on. Talking about that is only gonna make me want her and I don't even want just that. I want everything." Ben groaned.

"I'm sorry brother." Rosalind said sympathetically.

"Me too...oh hey let me call you back my son is calling." Ben said before clicking over.

"Hey dad."
"Hey Tuck." Ben said happily.

"I'm on break from school right now but I was wondering after school if you want to hang and play video games and eat. Like we use too." Tuck asked and Ben smiled he missed his kid too.

"I would love nothing more than that. Text your mother to see if it's okay and if she gives the all clear. I will pick you up. When school let out. " Ben said.

Miranda looked down at her phone as it vibrated. "Can I go hang with dad today? We are going to eat and play games."

That's fine, it's a school night though honey so not too late, Miranda responded shaking her head.

How the hell did she end up with basically 2 baby daddies? Her son has to go between 3 places.

Ben drove to Tuck's school and he waited in the student pickup line. Smiling when he came out.

"Hey, how was your day." Ben asked as Tuck got into the car.

"It was good. Let me tell you what Robbie did today."

Ben looked over at him occasionally as he drove. It was always something that Robbie did. Those two went back and forth consistently.

"Oh hey can we stop home for a minute so I can grab my game system and new games." Tuck asked and Ben nodded his head driving towards the house.

Ben pulled up and parked beside Miranda in the driveway. He wondered why she was home at this time of day again.

Tuck went inside and Miranda came from out of the back yard.
"You decided not to go?" Miranda questioned.

"Oh I am. I just wanted to get my game system, dad's outside." Tuck replied and Miranda's heart almost skipped a beat in longing and want.

She was itching to look out the window to get a glimpse of him but she wouldn't even torture herself like that. It was a warm day and she already knew his top was down and he looked good.

"Okay bye mom. I'm sure I will be back at 9." Tuck stated as he ran out of the house.
"Your mom's sick?" Ben questioned.

"No, she just took sometime off of work, ad least that's what she told me." Tuck recalled.

Ben knew something else was up. She didn't just take off of work, that's not who she is, but he realized that it wasn't his job to worry about that either.

"So you want burgers?" Ben questioned.

"Yeah that sounds great."

Ben ordered their food and he picked it up before they drove to his apartment.

They walked inside and Tuck sat his stuff down as Ben shut the door.

"Nice place." Tuck said kind of sadly.

"Thanks." Ben replied. The set up was similar to his old apartment when he met Miranda.

"Dad? Why did you leave us?" Tuck asked and Ben's eyes widen.

"I didn't leave you Tuck I-

"You left my mother, that's the exact same thing my momma said." Tuck interjected.

"But why though?"

"It's complicated." Ben answered not knowing what to say. He didn't want to tell him every detail and what went down.

"I get tired of adult business." Tuck replied blowing out a breath.

"When I was your age I did too."

"Hey make sure you take your medicine before you eat." Tuck reminded him and Ben smiled getting up to get his heart burn medication. Tuck sounded just like his mother in that moment.

"You fuel up and get prepared to get your butt kicked in this call of duty." Ben joked.

"Hey how did you get these games with out your mom saying anything about too violent?" Ben asked.

Tuck looked at him and Ben already knew. "You used our separation. Dam that's cold." Ben chuckled looking at his son.

"I'm sorry but I also had a good report card."

"Straight A's."

"Good job. I'm so proud of you." Ben praised.

Ben and Tuck continued playing games with each other until it was time to take Tuck home.

Ben pulled into the drive way and he turned to look at him. "Tuck please know that I love you so much and no what happens between me and your mother, that won't change. I'm always gonna be here for you and just a phone call away. You will always be my son." Ben expressed seriously.

"I love you too dad and I was thinking if it would be alright to stay with you two days out of the week." Tuck suggested.

"I would actually really like that."

"Don't worry about asking mom. I know you both are not on speaking terms so I will." Tuck said and Ben nodded.

"Have a good week at school." Ben told him as he got out of the car.

"Hey." Miranda greeted as Tuck came into the house.

"Hey ma." Tuck smiled.

"You had a good time with Ben?"

" Yeah his apartment is nice and

"His apartment." Miranda repeated.

"Yeah he just moved in recently." Tuck responded.

"Huh okay. Was it anyone else there with him? A roommate or a " Miranda paused wanting to say woman.
"No it was nobody there just him. Two bed room place."

"Oh okay." Miranda breathed out in relief.

"I was wondering if I could stay with him two days out of the week. Like Monday and Tuesday and with you Wednesday through Friday and my dad's Saturday and Sunday."

"Of course. I know how much you love him"

"You love him too." Tuck countered.

" I do.. I really do." Miranda sighed.