Margo Fawn & the Contagious Missing Delirium - 1

25. PARANOIA or INTUITION?

CHAPTER 25

PARANOIA or INTUITION?

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Friday, Mrs. Moore announced another assignment. This assignment was to be finished with the same partners with whom we finished the last essay. My heart stopped for a minute when she announced that. I then realized I did a double take, of which I was terribly absolute, that my friends took note of. Irony was, my thoughts about him were too much to contain, but it also made me repulsive of him - since I was wasting time thinking about him. I made up my mind. I should block my thoughts about him just like every other day I kept my thoughts about the ghost blocked. It couldn't be so hard as he was confusing me so much. Aiden seemed expensive for my already uneconomical peace. He was bad for my mental health. I also made up my mind to send him the poem I wrote.

That evening when we were walking home, we got ice cream. The weather was slightly grey with a pleasant chill. The kind of chill in which you didn't want to wear something warm but just let it all sink in with a good song. As usual, Irsia, being all chirpy, tried to put her spoon into mine. I being too cautious, moved away instantly and I bumped into Aiden. AGAIN. I mean, how high could I get on the clumsy scale? Thank God! I didn't lose my balance or fall down. Falling down would be good, but him catching me by my wrist and bag... not so good.

"Sorry..." I sounded toneless. I hadn't talked much to him since he lashed out on Wednesday.

"No probs," he said with a nod, and that look of his. Guarding something impassioned, also synchronizing it with something undecipherable but never failing to keep it cheerful always. He walked ahead.

Elec seemed clammed up. Zoned out completely.

"Elec?"

She snapped out of it with a flip of her unruly hair. "Yes."

"Something wrong?"

"He just won't stop texting and calling me." The slight quiver in her voice startled me.

While this serious conversation was going on, Irsia was still looking for a way to put her spoon into mine. Losing patience, I handed her my ice cream cup.

"Are you sure you want to totally ghost him out?"

"He's not giving me a choice," she blurted with a much shaky voice.

Irsia grasped that this was serious and probed, "Elec, you can still be friends with him. Can't you?"

"I can't."

From what it looked like; she was on the verge of tears. This girl, she never cried. If he had just left her when she broke up, she wouldn't have been in such pain. She was thrown off her balance because he was so good and nice to her. This was breaking her beliefs about how she thought about guys. Even I was amazed at Miles' sweetness. Could there be guys like him? The real question was, would he remain the same sweet Miles after moving to college?

Aiden dropped his ice cream cup in the garbage and walked to us. "Electra, I know you hate me for so many reasons or maybe..." He arched his mouth and nodded. "Two reasons. But I've got an advice that can save you both from this heart break game."

"What?" we asked, in unison.

He raised his eyebrows in amazement at our unison. It was such a trio thing to do. "Why can't you have a long-distance relationship? I tell this because I'm pretty sure Miles isn't the type of guy to cheat and since he is still chasing behind you, you can give him a chance and if he cheats on you, trust me, I'll help you hunt him down and smash his face."

"I don't want your help." She frowned sniffling and choking on tears.

"Okay, help yourself but tell me one thing. Why are you so against long distance relationship?"

Irsia and I were looking at each other. This was the first time in history that Elec had stood and listened to Aiden.

"I have intuitions."

"Intuition? Intuition is a far cry from what you have. Paranoia... Sorry." He relented in a flash. "That was rude. But don't you think you are letting the ghost of the past get the best of you now. Is it because of your dad? I know nothing about him. Or is it because of how things ended between Kyle and Margo?"

"Men are all the same," she cried; annoyed by his accusation.

"I can't prove you wrong until you give him a chance. Heavens, he can't prove you wrong until you give him a chance," he reprimanded with a click of his tongue at the end of the sentence, "suit yourself."

I put my hand around Elec's arm and held it - assuring that she still had me and Irsia and even Aiden. My mind was still on the words that Aiden said. What did he mean that Elec had two reasons to hate him?

Morning I had to go to Aiden's home again to finish two essays on two poems by Robert Frost. The thought fluttered in my mind every few seconds. His gestures and his words - it would confuse me for sure, but I didn't have the luxury to let it control me. I made up my mind to be my usual self but not do anything stupid around him. Little did I know.

I texted him the poem I wrote. There wasn't any reply from him for about an hour. My phone buzzed when I was studying math. My lips pulled on either side of my face, making me look so ludicrous.

'There is the Margo Fawn I was missing. Sorry, it took me an hour to reply. I went swimming at the lake.'

Swimming? At the lake? At sunset? Woah... I could only imagine how pleasing it could be. Yes, I planned to send him that poem without attaching my name to the text last Saturday. He didn't know my new digits. I didn't even know if he knew that I had new digits now. But now, after making up my mind, I sent the poem without my name. Accidentally. But he knew it was me. Well, how many girls could he know that would send him a poem?

Are you going to tell me who it is for? Or why is it for?

As soon as I hit send, I regretted that I replied too soon. I hit my head with my phone and groaned. Then I realized my window was open. If Elec saw me with this stupid look on my face, she would kill me. So, I wiped the stupid off my face and tried to look less stupid.

Patience. You'll know tomorrow.

My heart kept doing summersaults from time to time and my brain just yelled at my heart to stop doing that and to stop thinking about him. Yeah, my brain was right.

By morning, I had somehow blocked Aiden's thoughts that kept rushing and racing in my brain, but still they found a way to pop up once every few minutes.

Elec called me from her window, "you ready?"

"Yeah...," I yelled, swinging the raincoat over my shoulder, "I'll shove the breakfast down my throat and I'll be there in ten."

I went downstairs. Had my breakfast and milk.

"Mom, I am going to Irsia's home. I have an assignment to finish."

"Why don't you ask her to come over?" Such a buzzkill my mom had to be.

"She has her period." Why couldn't I come up with something else? Jeez.

"Next time ask her to come over. She hadn't come over in a while."

I never knew my mom cared about this or anything that involved my friends. Well, communication was an illusion in my home. I saw my dad talking over the phone; walking to and fro. Maybe he was taking a day off. I hadn't seen him at home after 9AM and before 10PM for years, not even on Sundays. This was how growing up felt like? Detached from my parents, and trying to find myself in every little thing I did? And then finding a different version of myself in everything I did, and amusing myself? Who knew I'd be able to face a ghost and block the thoughts of it entirely and be cool, right? I carried Aiden's classic umbrella with me. It had been in my room since the bizarre last weekend. I left, waving my dad bye.

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