are bestfriends forever?

ch 5 | all my heros

~all of these clouds crying us back to life~

Bethany's pov

We were in the backseat of a broken car that has been ghosted here since we can remember. We both were soaked in the rain still needed a shelter to be under and talk it out and cry and to be angry at each other.

Neither of us spoke until I said, "talk to them, your mother. Explain it to Lili, she deserves to kno..."

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

Because i love you in a way i shouldn't.

"Since when did I..."

He cut me off again, "since when did you start lying to my face? We used to share everything. It looks like we suddenly stopped being friends. We were supposed to be friends, not for a day, not for a certain period but for ever! Is it because of that idiot Scott and what he did? But... wait, I've been seeing you acting weird since the day I told you about Mikeyla."

No, there is no way in seven hells where I can sabotage your relationship with your only love interest. Most of all I can't jeopardize my friendship with you.

"What do you want me to do now? You want me to start from where we left? Tell me, tell me how you felt when you did it. Explain me what was it like to be inside her?"

That left him speechless.

It was a small, old designed car that had barely space for the two of us anymore. We used to fit in here even a few years back.

"Is this what you've been thinking about?", his eyebrows crunched together and his face was full of confusion.

"Go home. Talk to your mom, let her know that you knew about your father's abusive behaviour all along. Explain it to Lili. I'm sure she'll understand. I'll come if it need be."

I was about to get out of the car when I saw him zoning out for a moment. I'm not sure if he heard what I said.

He shook his head and looked around. The rain stopped. "So you were angry at me because I had sex with Mikeyla?"

"When did I ever say that?"

"...but you never once thought about telling me that Scott asked you out!"

"It's because I was thinking of saying no to h..."

Suddenly he snapped his hand at the front desk of the car that was dusty from the inside but nicely washed from outside. "THEN WHY DID YOU NOT! What were you waiting for. Why did I have to know it from others?"

"I did not know it mattered to you that much", I sat back thinking about why would he be mad beacuse I did not tell him about Scott asking me out.

"Of course it did. You are my best friend Beth. I watched you grow, it matte..."

Fuck his brotherhood. I left the car not giving attention to whatever he said after.

"Beth! Betty! Stop!", he ran after me and kept calling but I walked straight and fast. Tears stored at the corner of my eye.

"Wait for me. Let's walk together!"

I stopped. I turned around. All the black clouds gathered again above our heads as if the sky wasn't done crying.

I looked up and then back at him when he spoke, "Tell me, for once what's bothering you. I promise I won't be mad."

The clouds screamed. When it couldn't get our attention it started raining. I blinked a tear and it collided with the first raindrop on my face.

"I'm sorry I can't. I care for you too much. You matter to me, your feelings matter. I can't say. I can't ruin our friendship."

"There's not a thing in this whole universe that could ruin our friendship Bethany and you know that", he said in a soft tone.

"But there is", I barely heard myself speaking because of crying.

"Beth", he ran to come closer. He motioned his thumb to wipe my face that was drenched not only in tears but in rain too.

"Brad", I took a step back, still crying,"please don't make it harder for me."

"Why is it harder Beth", he yelled at me. "Don't you love me."

"That's the whole point Brad. I love you. More than you will ever know."

With that I left. Of course I was expecting him to come after me. But he didn't. A part of me wanted to cry the heart out for that. Another part was relived because if he pushed two more words I could have told him about my feelings.

What would he think of me? He has known me for so long. Morever I can't ruin our friendship. He will hate me if something goes wrong with him and Mikeyla because of me.

I kept running. Not for once did I turned back. I didn't care if I had to run past my house until i couldn't run anymore.