remember me / bucky barnes & loki laufeyson

three / russian roulette

chapter three.

you watch as a mixture of tears and soap dance beautifully with the water falling against your skin. 

how could this be? how did this happen?

its as though your minds were connected. you brace for impact. 

you remember. 

the coffee shop. the way his blue eyes glistened in the sunlight. the way 'I love you' rolled so easily off the tip of his tongue.

you remember.

the restraints. the running. the crying. the screaming. your magic. wait, magic?

a name you haven't said in almost a decade quietly escapes your lips, "james."

before you can continue to spiral down the rabbit hole, nat gently knocks on the door, "y/n! dinner is almost ready."

you turn the shower off and respond quickly, "I'll be there shortly!"

think, y/n, think.

your memories have you caught in a game of russian roulette but the odds aren't in your favour. every time you trigger the gun and willingly let a memory in, you're met with a bullet intent on destroying you. 

you find yourself standing in front of the mirror unable to recognise the person looking back at you. 

think, y/n, think.

you look at your hands and sigh, reciting the only spell your memory will allow you to remember. 

forget.

its as though the last 15 minutes never happened and as you leave the bathroom to enjoy dinner with the avengers, you're left with a fleeting sense of sadness. 

wanda takes notice of you as you walk in, "so y/n, why has steve hidden you from us?"

you smile and look over at nat, "I'm actually an old friend of nat's..."

thor is watching you, impressed by what he has seen on the field, "well, what's your thing?" he nods towards wanda who carefully summons her magic in her hand.

"I don't really have one," you answer with a slight smirk on your face, "I just like to stab things."

"so, you're human then?", thor asks while watching you play with your knife. 

"well, unless marrying your brother made me a goddess, it would appear so," you respond with a hint of sarcasm, knowing thor hasn't been told who you are. 

"adopted brother", he answers assuming you are simply making a joke. 

wanda tilts her head in interest at the thought of you and loki but before she can ask a question, you can hear the voice of steve and bucky closing in. 

fuck.

it doesn't take long before the temporary force field you placed on your memories shatters around you. your eyes find themselves locked to bucky's as he walks into the room.

you can see it in his eyes too. he remembers.

your hand finds its home tightly gripped around your knife. your surroundings begin to blur.

where are you?

suddenly, a seemingly familiar voice breaks your daydream as their hand presses against your lower back, "hello princess."

your flight or fight response is triggered and without hesitation you turn around, pressing your knife against their throat.