Anachronous

Chapter 6 - Liquid Donuts

Now that the graduation ceremony had ended, Ivori, Firuzan, and Ramona had only the remainder of the night to search for Lucian. Their first location was no doubt the most dangerous one: the Southern Mexican rainforest. According to Serafina's map, a tomb containing the glass bulbs of the hourglass could be found somewhere in Xibalba: The Mayan underworld. Firuzan was fixing her jet black hair, making herself appear as fashionable as possible for the journey. Ramona on the other hand, was the complete opposite of Firuzan. She had short blonde hair and only dressed in masculine clothes, much like Ivori. Only difference is that Ivori would occasionally wear purple and pink. Ramona wouldn't be caught dead near anything she considered "girly". Her hobby was working out at the gym and swimming, given her now former status on Scott Ridge high school's swimming team. Out of the three girls in the group, Ramona was no doubt the most athletic.

Not a moment of time was to be wasted. They needed to find Zane York and teleport to the closest location of the hourglass pieces possible. Ivori pulled out her phone and dialed Zane York's number.

The ringing tone lasted for a good twenty seconds, until finally Zane answered. He had a geekish, pimpish, voice-cracking, thick Southern accent that was both annoying and hilarious to listen to. "Whoever thees is, I don't give a damn about whateva telemarketing tricks y'all got up ya sleeves! I'm a busy man with a thrivin' career-"

Ivori interrupted him. "Hey um.. I'm Lucian Clovis' daughter, Ivori Clovis. I hear that you are the guy who created an artifact that can teleport people?"

"Aaand? Whatchu want from me? You ain't getting no mothafuckin' secrets to mah liquid donut formula if that's what chu lookin' for."

Ivori couldn't help but snicker. How the hell was this guy working as a professional archaeologist? "Liquid... donuts...? Ugh, never mind. Look, there isn't much time and I need to help my father-"

Zane cut her off. "Why don't chu turn yo camera on? If I'mma be helpin' out Mistah Clovis' daughter, first I'mma need some proof!"

Ivori rolled her eyes and turned her FaceTime on. At this point she was almost glaring at Zane.

Zane turned his camera on immediately after. He looked like the stereotypical nerdy geek with glasses, freckles, and dark orange hair. "Dayum, you Clovis' daughter awright. Now whatchu want from me?"

Ivori started to get impatient. "I just told you! I need help finding my father. I think he trapped himself in the past using the Kronos' Hourglass he found. We need to find the other hourglass pieces in order to time travel to him and return him to the present day. We only have until sunrise or he'll cease to exist. Please help us."

Zane sat pensive in thought for a few seconds, then responded. "Meet me at the Carl's Jr. on South Lee Street!" He quickly hung up.

"Dude, wait-" Ivori exclaimed. "Fuck!" She shouted in frustration.

"He's already not much help..." Firuzan rolled her eyes.

"Let's just meet him at Carl's Jr., okay? I'm starving." Ramona implored.

As they arrived at Carl's Jr., there sat a man in a red hoodie. The hood was covering his head, and he was barefoot. He was staring down at a cup and standing completely still as if he were a mannequin.

"Hey, uh... are you Zane York?" Ivori asked.

"Das right! I know exactly whatchu you here for. Drink up!" He handed Ivori a cup with baby blue liquid and everyone three takeout bags of Carls Jr. spicy chicken sandwiches with french fries.

"Umm..." Ivori stared down at the cup. "I had laundry detergent for breakfast, thanks."

Zane burst into laughter. "GURL YOU HILARIOUS! THIS AIN'T NO MOTHAFUCKIN' LIQUID DETERGENT!" He snatched back the cup and pulled out a huge jug of that same baby blue liquid from his backpack. The label on the jug read "Liquid Donuts: Take a sip, enjoy your trip!" 

"What the hell is that??" Ivori asked. "The hell is a liquid donut, dude?"

Zane snorted like a pig. "IT'S A DRINKABLE DONUT! Take a sip and y'all can teleport to whereva the hell ya want."

The trio looked at him weird. "What an odd invention..." Firuzan commented.

"I can see fat policemen finding that one useful. Donuts and coffee in a jug that will get their asses to the crime scene much quicker!" Ramona joked.

"JUST DRINK THE DONUT! ALL OF YA!" Zane handed each of them a liquid donut. "Sorry y'all, I only got one flavor. Blue glaze with white sprinkles! And y'all can taste the sprinkles."

The three each took a sip slowly, not particularly trusting Zane. "Wait... bro, how will these 'liquid donuts' know where we want to go?" Ivori asked.

Zane approached Ivori's face within two inches. "TELL IT WHERE YA WANNA GO! But remember, you can only request one location per hour. Then you gotta rip the coordinates off your map and throw them into everyone's cup. THEN DRINK IT UP, BABY!" He shouted, spit flying from his mouth.

"DUDE! What are you, a camel??" Ivori wiped the spit off her face. "Okay, trusty liquid donut... take us to Xibalba. The Mayan Underworld in Southern Mexico." She ripped a shred off of Serafina's map that contained the coordinates, and sprinkled it into everyone's drink. "Ugh, looks like we have to swallow paper. Dude, why couldn't you just create a cooler way to teleport? This is disgusting."

Zane slapped Ivori on the back. "TELEPORTATION EXISTS NOW! MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THE MOST OF EEEEET!" Zane held onto Ivori as the four teleported to their destination.

Zane was clutching onto Ivori's beanie, whimpering like a human puppy.

"Dude, can you get off me? If you're so afraid of teleporting, why did you invent the drinkable donut?" Ivori questioned.

Zane let go of Ivori and wiped off his pants. "I'M SAWREEH! I just feel the ringin' in mah ears, and my feet get the pins and needles if I don't wear them shoes while teleportin'. Mah sandals fell apart in the rain at the Carl's Jr., and dat's why I'm barefoot."

Ramona's stomach was still rumbling. "You didn't even give us time to eat, man..." She pulled out her spicy chicken sandwich and fries.

"Guys, there's not much time. So just dine on the journey." Said Ivori as she pulled out a french fry. "This is the tomb shown on the map, I'm sure."

The group walked down the steps of a dark, chilly Mayan underworld, leaving a huge salty mess of Carls Jr. french fry crumbs as they walked and ate at the same time.

Zane suddenly let out a piercing scream. "MAH DONUTS!!!" The jug of liquid donuts had somehow not been properly closed during the teleportation, and every last drop from it had poured onto the steps.