Why so possessive (currently editing) VK

Bare myself naked - Nineteen

"My fears take over me, a black cloud rests on my tongue when I wish to bare myself to you suddenly its all dark and a cat has gotten my tongue"

Taehyung laid there even after several minutes after he woke up in the warm arms he had gotten accustomed to. He slowly nuzzled into the shirt that carried his favorite scent of vanilla and bit on his lips to stop the cries that were starting to slip past his lips in fear of how fast everything he always build around him to keep himself safe was crumbling down.

He started to sniffle and slowly hugged Jungkook tighter hoping he would make the pain go away. He did not want to resort to older methods, those voices were back though reminding him this was only temporary this too will end and not once will Jungkook look at him again.

Love ended in a world where people always told us there are billions of people to choose from then why would he be the one to be picked.

He wanted to make this a forever situation maybe if seemed less clingy and pushed his feelings aside he could  make Jungkook stay longer. He pushed his head onto his chest and hugged him tighter "It hurts Kookie, this fear how I wish I could remove it and be all the perfection people sought after maybe then just maybe I could steal a bit of your heart more. My heart will leave and go with you when you decide to leave but please let me stay in this land of make belief dreams and happiness for just a little longer"

Taehyung took a deep breath as he shifted slowly getting off the bed, making his way towards the restroom as he washed his face and held the sink looking at himself. 

Jungkook gently opened his eyes having heard everything Taehyung said, he had tears prickling his own eyes how does he show Taehyung he already meant the whole world to him.

Jungkook slowly went after Taehyung into their restroom what he found broke his heart, Taehyung hugging his knees to his chest and crying hard, Jungkook quickly rushed towards him and immediately pulled him into his chest rocking him as he cried and just caressing his hair.

Taehyung took a deep breath, seeing Jungkook going to sleep he put his finger on his lips "I want to tell you everything, you can choose to stay or leave once I do. No more secrets" Taehyung pushed his head more into Jungkooks chest as he started to recall his most painful memories.

"I just wanted my parents to love me, play games with me and come to my performances. I used to wait for days together waiting for them to come back from business trips, I used to study as hard as I could and grt good marks for them even when I sacrificed sleep and friends thinking I will atleast have them. Those people called me names, wrote things on the table my 15 year old mind couldn't handle. Until they all cornered me and started to yell horrible words against me before it started to get worse they would put notes with indications on a world which would be peaceful without me, how I was a abomination. I took it all knowing my parents will tell me when they come back they love me someday even though they hadn't since i was 8"

Taehyung took a few deep breaths and Jungkooks gently rubbed his back and kissed his head to show him he was here "Then one day they all just came together and got really physical with me, I tried fighting back Kookie I swear I did. They had drugged my water during gym, they p-posed me naked in erotic ways, they saw the bdsm comics i had in my locker. I never wanted it with them..they took photos and spread it everywhere, so many more slurs and websites circulated that my parents raised a whore of a man. My parents came back from their business trip and the first thing they did was slap me and said how bad I was for their business..they didn't want a son like me. They threw me out of the house. I went to the bus stop and sat not being able to process anything until I felt a gently hand on my shoulder, she hugged me...my grandma found me and took me home. She made me want to live again and pampered me with so much love"

"My grandma trusted me and reported all  those boys and girls who posted those photod and videos of me, they came again to torture me but they confused me for my grandma thinking I lived alone now, they hit her with the  baseball b-bat and when I entered the room she was on the ground bleeding away her eyes were..they didn't have those light and stars they always did. I-I called the ambulance it was to late, she was gone..she was gone. My parents never came to see her, The worst of all they arrested me for the murder of my grandmother...I didn't argue maybe it is my fault it should have been me who died not her kookie. She should have lived with her big smile and her laughs, she lights up the world why her kookie...why her. Iam so selfish Kookie, iam still living even after I took away my grandma's life. Iam such a coward, my grandmom wanted me to be a vet she knew how much I loved animals...I tried to study and earn money through stripping, sometimes it got too much too overwhelming so it helped to but to just hide my pain their. I stopped when I met you until last week where I got scared when we got stuck in this whole pandemic...I was scared when I started feeling love for you, I was scared you would leave me now that you always had to be stuck with me what if you got tired of me, which made me hurt myself to calm myself down iam sorry"

Taehyung climbed on Jungkooks lap and hugged him, he gently looked up at Jungkook moving his hands to cup his cheeks "This is one last time I want to be selfish, I want to keep you for however long you are willing to stay with me...I think I love you, I love waking up next to you and making fun of your love for carrot, my bunny who looks like a coconut. So please stay by me I feel lost without you I can't push you away and act like I dont love you" Jungkook felt his heart breaking into pieces and he gently kissed Taehyung's herek "Its not your fault darling you were never at fault, nothing happened because of you the ones who did it are the ones to blame. Iam never leaving you I love you and iam always going to be with you" Jungkook picked up Taehyung making him sit on the sink wetting a cloth to wipe Taehyung's tears away.

To be continued

That must be alot to take in, an update after a long time too 💜 we have few more chapters to go before this fanfic ends. I will be starting a new book and a bunch of twitter aus aswell I will link them in the bio after the next chapter. Thank you for sticking with this story