DRAFT SUBMITTED TO THE LONDON GAZETTE BY RUDYARD KIPLING
The night London was on fire, it appears that our King, Charles II, was spotted "comforting" several ladies - in one of his many country country residences.
While it was reported that one Lady Hastings fought a Duchess of Cambridge all night for the right to bed the King while he was bedding three others, we Londoners had other things on our mind, like living another day, putting out the massive inferno and avoiding yet another plague.
While taking a break to down some ale, I asked some fellow loyal English men and women what they thought of the situation.
"It's disgraceful," sniffed Nelly, a girl who sells oranges at a now burnt down theatre. "What kind of king behaves this way?"
"And you good sir," I asked of a plague doctor.
"I don't feel comfortable being quoted here as the king's physician - wait, are you writing this down..?"
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As any good reporter would, I made sure to take note that he was a tall, good looking man, with long, dark curls, shoulder-length. He had deep-set, pale-grey eyes, set under thick, dark brows.
After several days of fighting a losing battle, Pepys, a good friend of mine, spoke to the Navy and suggested that they use gunpowder to blow up houses that were in the path of the fire. While it worked overall, it unfortunately didn't completely destroy the fire.
It also destroyed a few poor people's homes.
By the time his royal highness arrived home, much of London was destroyed, though his spirits seemed to be fine, despite it all.
When asked where he had been, he had replied "It was a mistake, in hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have done it," he mumbled as he distractedly eyed the orange girl from the earlier part of our interview.
"So you think it was a mistake then, your majesty," I pressed louder, as chants of "traitor" and "Frenchie" grew louder.
"Mhm," he nodded.
"Right. So. Your highness What did you end up doing in the countryside?"
He choked at that. I wasn't doing anyone," he cried indignantly as he played with the creamy ruffles spilling from his velvet sleeves.
"Mhm."
A/N: What do you guys think so far {I know it's very rough at this point]?