Coming Home [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Two

Elliot left after finding out Olivia had two kids, and he headed home. He didn't really know what to think about this at all, especially because he had unresolved feelings towards her, and he really didn't like the idea of Olivia being taken. Elliot was really caught up in his thoughts, so he didn't even realize when he had gotten back to his parents' house.

"Elliot!" Bernie called from the front door. Elliot blinked a few times before realizing that he had gotten home and was already parked, too.

"What?" Elliot called back as he climbed out of his truck and gathered the bags he had brought to Olivia's.

"Was she back?" Bernie yelled, and Elliot sighed before nodding slowly. He walked up the driveway and kissed his mother's cheek before he even went into the house.

"How is she? Does she look good? Where did she go?" Bernie asked rapidly, since her son wasn't volunteering any information at all.

"Ma! Relax. I will tell you eventually, but right now I just need to focus on processing everything from today. So I will talk to you in the morning or later tonight..." Elliot trailed off. He quickly sat the bags down before heading towards the stairs.

"She's not okay, is she?" Bernie breathed, and Elliot stopped before turning around and looking at his mother.

"Her mom just died, so no. She's not okay. I don't even know if she ever will be okay. I know that I wouldn't be okay if you or Dad died. I would never be the same... now, can I go upstairs? I'll be down to help with dinner." Elliot spoke before turning and escaping successfully.

///

Olivia had just put her daughters down for the night when her father got home with her sisters.

"Hey." Olivia breathed as she walked down the stairs.

"We got everything prepared for the funeral, and we picked out the headstone today." Trace sighed as he walked over to his eldest.

"I'm sure she would like whatever you picked out for her, Dad." Olivia spoke, but Trace didn't want to hear it.

"She was too young to die, Olivia. Don't even try to comfort me." Trace huffed before stomping up the stairs. Olivia and her sisters waited for a door slam, but were thankfully surprised when he didn't slam his bedroom door.

"You should have been there with us, Liv. But you had to be selfish." Evelyn spat, as she looked at her sister.

"Eve, what did you want me to do with the kids? They would not have behaved through the hours you guys were at the funeral home. So don't even start with me... Bernie Stabler made us a bunch of food, and I warmed up one of the dishes for dinner. There are leftovers in the fridge, just warm them up and head to bed." Olivia frowned.

Olivia headed back upstairs as tears burned her eyes. She knew that everyone was on edge since her mother's sudden death, but she just wished that everyone would stop taking their anger out on her. Evelyn was always yelling at her, but that wasn't new. It was actually one of the reasons she left in the first place.

///

Two days later, everyone gathered at a local funeral home for Serena's funeral and viewing. Friends and family filled the viewing room, and many people ended up having to stand around the edges of the room and in side rooms just to be there for the funeral. Olivia sat in the front row with her sisters, father, and children as she listened to people talk about her mother. 

All she could think about as people talked about all the amazing things Serena has done and how absolutely amazing she was was that she didn't see her mother for years. That she didn't know some of these people, because they came into Serena's life while Olivia was messing her life up on the west coast. 

"Olivia, go talk." Trace whispered as one of Serena's coworkers finished their eulogy. Olivia blinked quickly before shaking her head as she turned and looked at her father.

"I can't."

"Why can't you? Do you not love your mother enough?" Trace snapped a bit. 

"I hadn't talked to mom for four years, Dad. I-i didn't even tell her when I had my babies... I can't go up there and talk to everyone and lie. So please, don't make me." Olivia sniffled as she took an arm away from Violet and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"She probably died of a broken heart, Olivia. And it's your fault because you weren't a good daughter. Now get your ass up there and talk." Trace huffed. Olivia nodded weakly before standing once the podium was clear. She kept her arm wrapped about her sleeping baby, and was praying that Violet would wake up in the middle of her eulogy so she could run out of there. 

"H-hello... I'm Olivia Benson, Serena's eldest daughter. I'd like to start by thanking you all so much for coming here and telling us stories that many of us probably haven't heard. I'm not going to pretend that I was a good daughter, or that I was around for her. Today at her viewing was the first time I had seen my mother in four years, and I hate myself so much for not coming around sooner. She was an amazing mother, and I will love her until the day I die. She tried her hardest to be the best mother to all five of her daughters, and she loved us with every ounce of her being..." Olivia trailed off as her breathing got faster and she could barely contain her emotions.

She looked over at her father, and she could see how angry he was with her. He just shook his head as Olivia's breaths started to come in painful hiccups.

"I-i'm so sorry." Olivia sniffled before she quickly stepped down. She walked over and lifted Louise from Penny's lap before walking out.

Just before the doors closed and Olivia made it outside, she heard her father start to speak.

"I am so sorry about Olivia. She's the family disappointment."