A KNJ fanfiction.
Losing a loved one always arises an undescribable feeling of pain and emptiness. Your death broke my heart into millions of pieces but the gift I got upon your departure mended my shattered heart. Rest assured that I am slowly but...
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My time had stopped slowed by pain and sorrow, ever since I returned home yesterday till now I hadn't moved from my spot; I had been sitting on the floor by the armchair next to the window, it was granny's favorite spot. She loved to stare at the scenery all day long as she was too ill to go on long walks. The chair still smelled of her but was down drenched from the amount of tears I had shed, Namjoon’s words had no more effects as I was trapped in a spiral of memories and each time I remembered something peculiar of her, I cried, then exhausted I slept. I woke up cried and slept again, again and again.
-I cried when I remembered the day I took her to my brother's wedding;
-I cried when I remembered that she was the only one to come to my graduation ceremony;
The memories kept swirling in my mind so much that I found myself unable to pick my phone went it rung.
Once
Twice
Thrice
I don't know how long it had been since my phone rung, but now there was someone knocking no- banging at my door. I heard two familiar voices, they sounded worried. I lazily pushed myself up and opened the door; Jimin, my brother was about to yell at me when he saw my form: I was pale, barefoot and in tears. I ran to him and emptied the content of my tear glands on his shirt. Jimin succeeded in calming me down as we sat in the sofa residing in the living room, far from the window, far from the armchair, far from my grandmother. I rested in his warm arms as someone gently covered my shivering self with a blanket, I hadn't even noticed that it was raining outside. I looked up and realized that the second person was Patrick, he gave me a warm and reassuring smile to which I could difficulty respond. We resided in silence as we listened to the raindrops echoing on the rooftop.
“I know that you don't want to hear it but she wouldn't had wanted this for you, she wouldn’t be happy if she saw you like this and you know that.”
I buried myself more in his arms too weary to cry anymore. I managed to nod letting him know that I had understood, he caressed the small of my back and within seconds I was asleep.
I found myself in the hospital room where my grandmother was well where she used to be. And saw her and I saw myself too, I was cleaning up her face from the sweat that coursed it's way down her face. It didn't take me long to know which memory it was. I tried to look away or leave but I was trapped in my own dream condemned to watch my beloved grandmother die again.
Suddenly or not so suddenly since I had already lived this moment, bloody foam started rushing out of her mouth and I called for help, the doctors and nurses rushed in pushing me to the side and blocking my view. They yelled all kind of words from the medical jargon for the first fifteen minutes then I heard the ear-piercing sound from the electrocardiogram as they all shifted making way for me. I rushed to her only to find her open but lifeless eyes. I felt my heart tear into two and it took everything in me to close her eyes…
I finally woke up in pants and sweats, I was shivering so much that my joints hurt. It was barely five in the morning. I left my bed in which I was laying even though I didn't remember going to bed last night. I hooked off one of my brother’s pull-overs and wore it before exiting my room. I explored the spare bedrooms and as expected, there were no traces of Patrick nor Jimin but still my heart sunk. Well it was until I heard faint voices in the wine room -don't blame me, my grandmother was a wine lover- and found both of them sipping on one's of the bottles I had designed with my grandmother's picture for the funerals.
They paused when they saw me, Patrick's face softened as Jimin tapped the empty spot next to him. I followed suit but declined when he offered me a bottle.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“I am getting there, but I am emotionally sober at least.”
“Don’t you think that it'll be healthier for you if you left this mansion? Don't get angry please and seriously consider my words. There are memories of her in each and every inch of this place, for how long do you think you can deal with the pain you are bottling up?”
I sighed, not having the energy to get angry nor argue.
“I am going to stay here. Don't forget that I am her heiress, I would feel like I am betraying her if l left too. You left once you got married and formed your own family, mom doesn't come here anymore, grand uncle Henry even asked to dispose of the house, how would she feel like if I left too?”
I saw his skeptical look and caressed his cheek in an attempt to calm him,
“I will be alright, eventually I will heal, I have to.”
It was enough to appease him but not me, what if I couldn’t move on?
The question lingered on my mind till the early hours of the morning when Jimin finally left. Once I closed the door I found myself face to face with Patrick,
“Why I didn't you tell me that you were heading to the funerarium yesterday?”
I was about to ask him how he knew but I figured that Jimin should have told him.
“So what if I didn't? What could you have possibly done?”
He looked hurt by words but it was too late to take them back,
“Lisa look, I know you are a strong and independent woman like that but at times one needs emotional support even if it's just from a friend.”
He slowly and nervously took my hands in his scared that I might reject him, when I didn't he held them more tightly -without hurting me- and gave them a little squeeze.
“I told you that I really care about you even though I messed up and that we broke up, I still care about you so please Elisabeth talk to me, I need you to. Please.”
He came so close that I could feel his breath on my face, he kissed my forehead before letting me go. He offered to take me out for breakfast, being as hungry as I was, I was fast to shower, dress up and meet him at the entrance.
We left the house and reached for his car, once in front of it he opened the door for me before heading to the driver's seat.
“You won't have to hit up for work till the funerals are over. After all you need time for yourself.”
I looked at him in disbelief, emotional pain wasn't a reason to run away from my responsibilities, or well that was what I thought.
“I am fine, I can handle the planning of the funerals and my job especially the contract on which I am now.”
My voice was firm but it didn’t do much convincing him,
“I am not talking to you as a friend but as your hierarchical superior, you aren't stepping a foot in the company till you are healed”
“I am not sick.”
“No but you are heartbroken.”
“Yes as I broken as I was when you cheated on me!”
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