quarantine // h.s.

part 13 // your pride

authors note: pls say nothing about the fact i haven't uploaded all year. i'm sorry girlies i've just been in my flop era.

two days later

i place my last pair of leggings into my suitcase and zip it shut, feeling the visceral relief of the thought of returning home tomorrow. the heaviness of my eyes becomes more and more prominent by the minute, as i'd gotten very few hours of sleep within the past three days. i'd spent every night in harry's bed with him, kissing and fooling around and falling asleep in each others arms.

after all the late night talking though, we had barely conversed over what life looked like after this. to mention it, we'd barely even conversed about the truth of life during this. we seemed to get so lost within each other that we lose sight of the logistics of it all. my conscious wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or not.

to steady my mind a bit, i hop in the shower to get the grime of my thoughts and from this entire experience off of me. the thought of this being my last shower- my last night- was bittersweet, but the antsy tendencies grew minute by minute. i couldn't help but miss my life back home- my bed, my solitude, my comfort even- it was calling my name as the time grew closer to our flight.

as my shower-thoughts get more and more busy, they stumble back onto harry. it seemed to always go back to him since i've been here. i hated that once my mind reached him, i got that twist in my gut. as much as i didn't want to admit it, a part of me worried viciously that this would all end when we return home.

at this point, we have spent well over a month together- and almost all day, every day. i felt like i knew him like i knew myself. i knew his favorite things and his best memories, even his worst. i knew what his dark side was like, as i've been at the end of it but also learned his depth behind it. i knew how he liked his coffee and eggs and which side of the bed he slept on. he knew all the same about me in return.

it made me nauseous to think that despite all of this, we could abandon all of this. let it grow moss and ivy and let the foundation crumble. all because both of our egos and irrevocable stubbornness prevented us from defining our feelings for each other in the sake of complicating things.

before i can let the queasiness override my nervous system, i take a deep breath and let the steaming hot water run over my face. when i step out of the shower, i notice that my toiletry bag was absent from our bathroom and most likely left in harry and kaleb's bunk room.

a thought crosses my mind to have that conversation with him- to just blurt out and ask him how he truly feels and what he truly wants. my logic tells me that it's the last day, and the risk is at its lowest, though the hurt may be at its highest. my stomach turns a bit with nervousness, but my intuition affirms me.

my feet take me down the hallway and with each footstep a lump forms in my throat. as i reach his door, i take a deep breath as i knock lightly and wait a moment before opening the door.

when the door creaks open, i drop my phone onto the ground once my eyes lay upon the sight before me. harry is positioned on top of sierra, her tanned legs spread apart and harry kneeling between them with his hand in between her thighs. his brown curls are matted and messy on his head, and is clad in nothing but his boxers.

once they hear me, sierra's face goes pale and harry covers his mouth. i stand there dumbfounded for a few everlasting moments as i attempt to process what to say or do- yet nothing comes to me.

all i could say was oh my god. oh my god, as i see them intertwined on the bed. i immediately turn back around to run out of the space to fully remove myself from the situation. i blink viciously to try to clear the sight from the front of my brain. my hand travels up to cover my mouth, which had fallen agape.