Hamilton Wrote The Other Fifty-One.

Sixteen

I turn sixteen years old tomorrow. Wow. I can hardly believe it.

I have come so far in the past three years alone. At thirteen, I wasn't sure I would make it this far. At fourteen, I didn't even want to make it to the next week. Now, here I am, so sure in myself that I am going to make my life the absolute best it can be. I have endured more than a sixteen year old should have to face. In middle school, I was the outcast of all of my friends. My freshman year, three of the closest friends I have ever had almost became victims of suicide, all within a two month period. I have been cheated on, tormented, emotionally abused, but hey, look at me. I did it. I survived the first sixteen years of my life, even though I came out with quite a few bumps and bruises.

I admit, I'm scared to grow up. I'm scared to be an adult, be on my own. I still have two years to go, but dang, the time flies. I feel like it was yesterday that I was starting my first day of high school. It may be that I was stripped of a normal end of freshman year and entire sophomore year, it may be that I have an issue with memory. The world may never know. It was hard getting the last couple years of childhood - before I started growing up - taken from me because of a pandemic, but I did it. I kept my grades up, maintained my 4.0, got a job. I did amazing given the circumstances.

Hopes. Dreams. Everybody has them. Everybody's are unique. Ever since I was a little kid, I have wanted to be a musician. I want to play for thousands. I want the world to hear me. I want people to know my name. In the words of one of the best princesses, Tiana, "I know exactly where I'm going. I'm getting closer and closer every day, and I'm almost there." I also have the little dream right now (which could possibly just be a hyperfixation) to be a gaming streamer on Twitch. Go ahead, laugh, I know it's a little lame, but it's what I like right now. And that's okay. It has taken me way too long to realize that my interests are allowed to change and other people may not like me, like the things that I enjoy, or like the things that I do. That is not my problem. I know that I am a good person and that I am happy being me. If they don't like it, sucks for them, I'm awesome. Know that I am not being self-centered in saying this. I am being self-loving, and that's more than I could say a few years ago.

I have learned that I am amazing. I didn't learn it on my own, though. Credit for that goes to my best friend in the entire world, Abby. She has taught me to love myself. Without her, I don't know if I would be here right now. That girl saved me from myself. Before I met her, I was still "friends" with someone who didn't give a crap about me. I was still friends with people who wouldn't invite me to their group hang-outs and then talk about it while I was sitting right there. I was ignored. I was gaslighted. Before her, I was always the last choice, and now I am finally the first. The past two and a half years were the best I've ever had, because of Abby. She has been there for me, no matter what. Even when I was being a sucky human. Even when I didn't deserve it. Words cannot do justice to my gratitude for her.

So, here's to sixteen! Here's to so many more adventures. Here's to finding my soulmate in a sister. Here's to family. Here's to loss that was worth what we gained. Here's to being unapologetically me. Here's to the future. Happy birthday to one of the most awesome people I know.