a locket of self desire

again and again

CW: references to past abuse, past severe allergic reaction, rejection sensitive dysphoria, elings of failure/inaduquecy, memory issues

"Morning Ranboo," Phil greets with a smile. Tommy turns to find the newest member of their household awkwardly shuffling into the kitchen from the hall. He slouches, carefully raising a hand to give a slight wave. An odd sense of deja vu washes over Tommy.

"Want to join us? We're about to have breakfast," Phil says as he finishes the eggs.

"Uh, okay," Ranboo agrees. He fully enters the kitchen and joins Tommy at the table, sitting across from him. He's currently playing with an infinity cube, stimming contently as he watches Phil cook.

"I'm Phil," Phil says, "that's Tommy. If you have any questions about anything let me know. You also have your journal."

Ranboo gives a stiff nod and Tommy stares at him, before looking back over at Phil. What was that for? He catches Phil's gaze, raising an eyebrow. Phil gently shakes his head. With a sigh, Tommy leans back against his chair but drops the weird interaction.

He lets his leg bounce absentmindedly, getting lost in a variety of thoughts, mind jumping from one to another. Did he finish his level on his game last night? He can't remember if he got past the final boss. The infinity cube makes a satisfying click in his hands.

"So... you're Tommy?"

Tommy looks up, gaze meeting Ranboo's for a second. Ranboo freezes and holds eye contact instantly, to the point where Tommys a bit uncomfortable by it, and he pulls away. The minute he does, Ranboo looks away as well. Phil sets a glass of milk next to the new kid and gives Tommy a look.

"Uh, yeah," he says.

Ranboo nods and Phil gives him another look as he takes his own seat.

Fuck is Tommy really being expected to socialize.

"So-" Tommy begins, "what happened at your last placement?"

Fuck Timmy didn't mean to say that.

Ranboo freezes.

Tommy really hadn't meant to ask that. He gets that things were a shit show sometimes. He just- well he hadn't thought it through and it had been burning in his mind since Phil first told him and he hadn't meant to.

He wanted to know, sure. But he hadn't wanted to actually ask.

"You don't have to-" Tommy scrambles to explain.

"They were ruled neglectful and abusive," Ranboo says.

"Oh shit man," Tommy hisses. "They hit you?"

Ranboo looks at him without meeting his eyes, shifting in his seat.

"No- I uh, I'm allergic to water? And they kinda intentionally didn't react when I was having a severe allergic reaction. Which they were sort of responsible for in the first place."

Tommy stares at the kid.

"You're allergic to water."

"Yeah. I uh, I know it sounds weird. But it's a real thing, I promise."

Tommy looks at the kid for a minute longer, completely taken aback as he considers Ranboo's words.

Seconds later he bursts out laughing.

"Big man you have the worst luck ever," Tommy says, "you're allergic to what most of our bodies are made of? That's bullshit."

Ranboo cracks a smile and let's out a small chuckle as he ducks his head.