Photographs

Chapter 12

Asher

"I've been thinking, I don't think I want to keep hiding,"  Casey says, looking up at me.  He's lying in my lap as we hang out in my bedroom. I look down at him, surprised. 

"Really?"

"Yeah. There's a very small list of people who could tell my parents about us and it's not worth it."  He responds, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, I'm sure."  He says, nodding and laughing.  "I want people to know that you're mine."  He adds, sitting up and kissing my cheek.

"Good, because I have something I want to give to you,"  I tell him, standing up and walking over to my bookshelf.  I pick up the blue velvet box that has been sitting on the shelf for the past few days, opening it to look at the contents one last time before I close it and walk back to where Casey is waiting.  I sit down next to him, holding the box in my lap.  I hold the box closer to him and open the lid so that he can see what's inside, two black rings with the letters AR and CL engraved on the inside of each one.  "I got black ones so that they look like a normal accessory, but I thought that having our initials on the inside would let you have something that reminds you of me that won't out you if your parents find it.  If you think it's too forward-"

"Asher, I love it,"  He cuts me off, putting his hand on my cheek as he looks me in the eyes, smiling. "And I love you." He adds, kissing me.

"I love you, too,"  I tell him, putting one of the rings on his finger before putting the other on mine. He lies back down, placing his head back in my lap. 

"So what changed your mind?"

"Aside from what I already told you, I couldn't ignore the feeling that kissing you in stairwells and not holding your hand in public makes it seem like I'm ashamed of who I am, which isn't true."  He says and I start running my hands through his hair.  "I also thought that if we start being open about our relationship, maybe it won't seem so scary to come out to my parents."

"Casey, you know that you don't have to tell them now, right? There's no shame in waiting to come out."

"I know, but I feel like if I don't do it now, I'm never going to and then I'm going to live with this constant fear of 'are they or aren't they homophobic?'" He says as he sits up, hugging his knees to his chest as he puts his head on my shoulder. 

"Yeah, I understand that. I was worried about the same thing when I came out to my grandparents." I tell him, putting my hand on top of his knee. 

"What if they do turn out to be homophobic?"  He asks, looking up at me. 

"Then I'll be right here, ready to tell you how much I love you," I reassure him, kissing the top of his head.