Sad Songs for Scott Carver (girlxgirl)

Four

Ellie's first kiss was with a girl.
It was during the enraged summer of 2011 when Lydia pulled her behind one of the school's old buildings. She remembered the girl's face being rather flushed from netball training, and the nonstop dribbling sound of water from the burbler near.

She wasn't expecting much. Just another one of Lydia's endless rants about maybe a new manga that she was reading, or just another episode of Home and Away. Ellie's never understood either the two of them; she would much-preferred books over mangas, and Home and Away was just so shit that it burned her eyes whenever that she saw it on TV.

"You are not going to believe what I've just read last night!" Lydia circled around her while waving her hands across the air like an absolute maniac.

"What?" Ellie asked, more immobile than ever. This has become quite a routine for her- to reply with 'what?' or 'omg really?' to whatever that Lydia was ranting about. Before she even realised it, Ellie has become almost like a speaking robot.

"So I went to Planet right? You know how they've started to sell comics and mangas on the top floor right?"

"Right."

"So-" Lydia tucked in a breath, then lowered her voice, "I found this manga called Strawberry Panic, and um...I think I want to try something out."

Ellie repressed the urge to roll her eyes. It was the first time that she'd ever seen Lyd so fixated on something, but with a name like Strawberry Panic, she couldn't help but to think that this was just another one of her crazy experimentations again.

She raised her eyebrows, "Is it to eat a strawberry to see if you'll get a panic attack?" the girl teased.

Lyd flashed out her purple braces. "Close, my friend. But no." Her face pulled into that serious look again. She took a quick breath, "I want you to kiss me, Ell."

Ellie almost spat, "You want me to what?" She felt her cheeks turning crimson.

Lydia swallowed, "The girls in this manga...well, they um...kiss each other, and I'm just curious on what it would feel like to kiss with another girl." She said, with her gaze fixed on Ellie "With...you..."

Amidst the empty silence, Ellie swore she could've heard the rustling leaves from two buildings away.

It had never really occurred to her on how this would have a deep effect on her life. She didn't really know what she was doing, but she never had a feeling that it was wrong either. Not even after all the religious lessons that were taught during her time at a Catholic primary school, not even after hearing kids tell her that they thought the behaviour was strange. She had only found it fascinating.

She looked at Lydia, face blushed from embarrassment. A trickle of sweat rolled down the side of her jaw. Her chest heaving up and down at such a fast pace that it even looked like it was aching.

During that enraged summer of 2011, Ellie let the auburn-haired girl kissed her.

***

From a fair distance, Fee didn't look so much like a sleep-deprived zombie anymore. Ellie begun to feel like such a twat for wearing only a plain white shirt and jeans into this type of place. She had really thought that it was appropriate at first, since that it would not expose her into certain conversations with strangers, that is, until she realised that the whole dress code for whatever this is was to wear black.

"I like your outfit." Fee said bluntly. Of which Ellie considered to be a compliment out of pure politeness. Fee was rocking it with her T-shirt dress and a pair of black Chelsea boots.

"Thanks." She mumbled slightly, sneaking an occasional glance at Scott who wasn't exactly doing anything much - aside from staring into space and chatting with random strangers that came up to him.

"Oh yeah" Fee's voice suddenly shot up, "I forgot to introduce myself last time." She grinned. Ellie wondered if she should tell her that she already knew what her name was. She tugged on Scott's shirt, "I'm Fee. This is Scott." She pointed at the tall figure beside her. He managed a lopsided smile, then brushed his hand over his head. His hair wavered in different directions.

"Ellie, right?" Scott said, staring at her. Ellie was surprised he even knew her name. "I see you at the record store."

"Yeah, I...um...work there." She said, stuttering, avoiding his eyes.

"I know. I see you." Scott smirked. Ellie's heart sunk in her chest.

She wanted to disappear.

"It's funny how almost everybody here's underage." Fee's voice brought her back into reality. Ellie wondered how the girl could always do that - bringing her back from overdrive thinking whenever that she spoke, as if there was a un-hypnotise charm in the tone of her voice.

She made eye contact with the girl. Ellie thought she saw a fleck of pink on Fee's cheeks before she pulled her gaze away rather quickly.

"Yeah...I...might have bribed the bouncer." Scott said with a precarious grin across his face.

Fee squinted at him, almost amusingly, "Thought so" She chuckled. Then, her gaze diverted to Ellie. "So Ellie, are you underage too?"

"Yeah."

"Knew it." Both her and Scott replied at the same time and fist pumped each other.

Ellie was sort of envious of how close their relationship was. Questions rushed through her mind on how they actually became acquainted to each other (since Fee had probably only moved here about a few weeks ago). Regardless, she was still extremely grateful for their company. This was the first time that she'd ever felt welcomed at a public place, especially in a bar of all places.

She was happy. A feeling that she'd never accounted for after she'd made the decision to come here. Even when she knows that everything would return back into normal by morning, she was still happy that she'd left.

Scott shifted his head down over to his watch. Ellie guessed that it was almost the time for them to perform.

She was right, as always. "Looks like I've got to go get ready." He smiled warmly at her. "It was nice meeting you Ellie."

He shook her hand. Ellie made a mental note of how soft they were. Once he was about to turn around, she attempted an effort to say something.

"Good luck." Her weak voice muttered as the sight of his black shirt shifted away.

He didn't hear her. Nobody have ever heard her when it mattered the most. Ellie watched as his body eventually was lost within the crowd.

The techno music came to a halt, causing frustrating grunts from the colony of drunk people.
She didn't know what had caused it but Fee shifted her body towards her. Close enough that Ellie could've smelt vanilla perfume cascading itself from the girl's clothes. She leaned her head so close to Ellie's neck that it had almost caused her to shiver.

"You should really try speaking louder next time." Fee said, her voice almost a whisper, "Meaning not whispering like this."

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A/N: Hey, sorry that it took me so long to update this story. I've been battling restlessly with school work. And being put into every extension classes this year have caused me to die multiple times.

By the way, for those of you who don't live in Australia, Home and Away is this horrible soap opera that I swear has probably been on TV ever since the stone ages.

Anyways, I hope that you're enjoying the story. If you are, then please vote or comment because that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading xx

Lex :))