INSIGNIFICANT TALES...

Aren't I the desperate one here?

        Friendship and all that; she knew she could do better than the worse she'd already been doing. Trust me, she wanted it all so badly but never did anything ever work out.

        She was and wasn't overlooked. Her world kept falling apart each time, and she'd be left with nothing but questions—answered questions—she knew the facts but her guts never let her speak loud enough.

        In the end, she'd pretend as if she didn't knew, didn't have, didn't realise, and never answered those question.

_______

         It was him, who approached her as if he knew her since long back. As if they were childhood friends and this wasn't the first time he stood unsophisticatedly facing Jyll, calling her name like it's an old habit of his and asking for a favour as if she'd owed him a meal for ruining his "not-very-promising" relationship.

          He was very well known for a certain traits he carried, which were responsible for everyone's attention— not necessarily in a good or bad way.

          "Clown of the house", was how he'd think people thought of him. He was ordinary, the kind of ordinary which these days doesn't exist—ordinary like Jyll.
           He was never full of himself, he was full of analytical thinking though, about insignificant and lowly matters, just like Jyll.
     
          In the abyss, where Jyll perched—and alone—for a long time, she'd assumed she'd finally found a companion; Gizen belonged to the same world. They were far, but they were never in separate realms.
          Finally, Jyll thought she'd found someone who could understand and relate to her. But who knows...
        
          Isn't clown and hypocrite the same thing, seen with different perspective? Aren't they? So what if Gizen meant "a hypocrite" and he was called "the clown"?
          It means nothing if you call a lamb, a lamb. But if you never knew it was a fox in lamb's skin, you'd never know it was all just an act—cunning and brutal. He wasn't a companion, he was a janus-faced sicko who fooled around just like a hypocrite.

          "Even though the weight of his smile is heavy and yet he's huge enough to hold on to it, I'm sure he's like a child inside—desperate.
          Desperate to have someone reach out to him, within him and pull out the 'never highlighted' details from among the underlined ones, like that one dusty old book—picture-less, colourless, font-less, plain like a 90's discoloured letter, yet to be read.
         Such a book that's covert and screened amidst thousands of other books— colourful, illustrative, well written and fancy like 21st century's invitation card.
         Wishing for someone to come forward and pick/choose him and draw out the flimsy book left with a few blank pages; read it, fathom it and paint it with a million shades, anew."
          Jyll's perception.

          But who knows?
          Is it about Gizen really? Or is she just introspecting?
          Maybe, there is something about Gizen that makes her realize about herself, but the way she peeped into him, isn't it unreal?
          Isn't he just an excuse, so she can boldly and unwaveringly admit who she is and what's inside of her—the reality that she's been running away from?
          After all, there's no bigger threat for anyone than they themself!
      
         Isn't she the desperate one?
  
         Isn't she the unread book?
     
         Isn't she the one who wants to be painted?

         And still she chose not to admit, even though somewhere she realised it all. She replaced herself with Gizen when her thoughts began rolling, over and over.
         Maybe, Gizen had it in him. He might've been exactly how Jyll decided.
         Decided! That's right!
         There has never been a single conversation between them as such, other than trolls, puns, mischief and childishness.

          So who knows better, but he himself!