The Experience of Being Alive

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Where were you all?” Hermione was trying to keep her voice steady, but it was clear she was rattled.

“Where were we? You were the one that just went and disappeared.” Binny replied.

Hermione looked taken aback.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re all here now, right?” Katniss said, in the surprising role of peacemaker. “Speaking of which, where is here?”

A path lay before the group, and they started walking. The countryside spread out on either side. As they walked, the scenery seemed to get less and less colorful. It was as if the color had literally drained from the scenery. When monotonal birds would fly by and tweet their songs, Michel said, “Even the songs are quite ‘gray’, no?”

Nobody responded.

They continued on. The road switched back and forth in an endless series of climbing curves. But the longer they walked, the less progress they seemed to make. And then the yawning began. First it was Arya, but soon everyone succumbed to a fit of the yawns.

It got so bad that Binny couldn’t take another step forward. Covering her mouth for what seemed like the fiftieth yawn in a row, Binny managed to say, “I don’t think I can take another step forward.”

“This is the worst place ever.” Hermione said.

“I’ve seen worse.” Katniss tried to joke between yawns.

“There… are… worse… places… than… this…” a disembodied voice said. It sounded far away.

“Worse than this?” Arya sounded incredulous.

“Where is this?” Binny demanded.

“Who said that?” Hermione craned her neck in all directions trying to spot the speaker. But they were alone.

“This… is… the… Dol… drums…” Another voice spoke. This one sounded nearer.

“Of course it is. I’m such an idiot!” Binny said. “I forgot, we’re in the Phantom Tollbooth. These are the Doldrums.”

“Educate us if you don’t mind?” Katniss said.

“The Doldrums are where nothing ever happens and nothing ever changes.” Binny said in unison with another voice. This one was at their feet. 

Binny laughed and continued on her own, “These are the Lethargarians. They live here.”

And when they looked down, suddenly, there was a small creature standing among them. It took a gentle bow. It had been almost impossible to see as it was the same color as the gray road on which they were standing on.

“Look, more of them.” Arya pointed.

And suddenly, everywhere the five of them looked were small creatures blending almost perfectly with whatever shade of gray was the color of the object directly behind them.

Arya unsheathed Needle. Her eyes sparkled.

Binny screamed. “No! Don’t do it!”

“Indeed don’t. Don’t do anything at all. Doing things is against the law here. As is thinking, laughing, and a variety of other things.” Said the Lethargarian.

“Are you serious? He’s really asking for it.” Arya rolled her eyes, still waiting for permission to slice the creature.

“Hold on. Hold on. I forgot this is what would happen here. I need to think for a second.”

“Think? But the rules!” A chorus of Lethargarians shouted.

Binny put her hands to her ears to block them out and tried to remember how Milo had escaped the Doldrums in the book. It had been awhile since she’d read the book, but she was pretty sure this was the point where Tock had shown up and scared off the little creatures.