Second Chance

Chapter 24 The Talk

Dev holds Mahi by her arms and gives her a soft jerk to pull her back to reality. Back to him. 'Hey!'

Mahi looks up with her eyes welled up and red. She looks at Dev as she says,' I didn't mean to do it. When I started feeling dizzy, it struck me that I don't want to die.' Tears start rolling over cheeks. 

'I know,' Dev replies softly, believing her. He immediately fills her in his arms, embracing her. She wraps her hands around Dev's neck as he pulls her closer. She breaks down in soft sobs on his shoulder, holding him tightly and letting him soothe her. She speaks through her sobs, still holding onto him and letting him embrace her. 

'I am not suicidal.' She speaks up after a while, after controlling her weeping.

She breaks away from Dev to see him in the face. She feels the need to look at him while she says this. 'I am not suicidal. I don't cut myself in the next opportunity when something goes wrong in my life.' 

Dev nods as he wipes the tears from her face,' I believe you.'

She takes a deep breath before she continues,' My panic attacks... are not caused by thinking what he did to me. I get them because I am still unable to accept the fact that I almost lost my life because of one weak moment.' Dev looks at her as she unfolds herself in front of him, still holding her.

'I get scared... I am scared. Of Myself. I am scared of that version of myself, who almost took the life I am living,' says Mahi with a break in her voice as she hangs her head down in exhaustion and in shame. Dev holds her face up. She keeps her eyes closed, feeling self-conscious and not so confident. 

'Open your eyes,' Dev softly asks as he rubs his thumb over her jaws. 'Look at me.' Mahi opens them and looks at him with still moist eyes. 

Dev smiles and, then he asks,' What do you see?'

Mahi gulps once and speaks up,' You.' 

'And?' Dev prompts.

'Still here.' Mahi speaks with little hesitancy, feeling not so sure or confident.

Dev smiles proudly this time. 'Exactly! I am still here. Right next to you. Not leaving you. And never will.' He briefly pauses before he continues,' And you can stop being scared of yourself or your past. Since I am not going anywhere. And will love you for the rest of my life. All of your versions.' He places an assuring kiss on her forehead. He stays there and then slides down, resting his forehead over hers. Both hold like this for few more seconds before Dev plants a soft kiss on her lips, wiping her remaining tears. 

A few minutes later, Dev is leaned back on the same bench with his legs stretched on the table in front. He sits there half lying on his back with Mahi in his arms. She had her face resting in the crook of his neck, eyes closed as her legs are still sprawled over Dev and her hand with a scar in Dev's hand, over his chest. The hand which had Mahi wrapped around close to him was caressing her back in a slow and repeating motion.

Mahi opens her eyes as she shifts her head back a little to see Dev, watching the starry sky above, lost in some thoughts.

'Where are you lost so deeply? Having second thoughts?' asks Mahi, burying her face again in his neck. 

Dev doesn't reply immediately. But when he does, he speaks with his utmost sincerity and emotions. 'I am so grateful that I can feel you breathing like this, next to me. I am thanking the universe. I just can't imagine my life without you in it. If anything were to happen to you...' He pauses for a couple seconds before he continues,' I would have been so lost.'