Ruby Red

Chapter Twenty-Three

Alana couldn't sleep. Her foot ached and her heart and her mind were too heavy. It was the middle of the night, and she had gathered her crutches and hobbled out to the stables. Her mare Elandre whinnied as Alana saddled her up and pulled herself up onto it. She patted her horse's neck. It was the little things she had missed.

It was a quick ride to their spot. The waves lapped against the shore, and there was only a sliver of the moon behind a cloud. The stars were scarce, only visible when they twinkled for a brief moment then retreated behind the folds of the night sky. It wasn't a perfect night, but Alana had come to expect it. She hadn't had a perfect night in a while.

She sat down in the damp grass and let her feet stretch out in front of her. Alana's eyes locked onto the patch of grass where Karis had slipped, and her mind immediately went to him. She had hurt him. Karis had said that he forgave her, but she didn't entirely believe him. Guilt still gnawed at her from the inside.

A soft breeze rippled through her dark hair. She let the strands fall in her face and she closed her eyes. The tickle on her cheeks reminded her of Karis and his gentle touch. Everything seemed to remind her of him recently.

The peace of their spot didn't last long. Alana heard hoofbeats behind her slowing to a stop, but she didn't turn around. There was only one person it could be. Their horse stopped beside Elandre and the rider dismounted. "I remember what happened last time we were out here. Isn't it my turn to almost die again? Where's that dagger?"

Alana didn't laugh at his joke.

"Too soon, got it," Karis said. He rocked back and forth on his heels. "I had a feeling you would be out here. I asked Fallon to check on you before I went to bed, and she said you weren't there. She started freaking out, but I knew where you were. That best-friend intuition never fails, I guess." He chuckled.

"Why did you ask Fallon to check on me?"

"You just got back, you're healing, there's two days until the Vault opens, and Lévian said the queen wanted to speak with you. I was worried about you." He paused for a moment. His tone dropped to something more serious as he asked, "Are you okay?"

She hesitated. "Why do you always try to check up on me, Karis? Why are you so worried about me all of the time? And I don't know, I'm fine, I guess. I'm fine." Alana pulled her knees up to her chest and faced away from him.

Karis walked up to the spot on her left and looked out over the sea for a moment. Then, he sat down beside her. He didn't touch her or even try to make eye contact with her, but he just kept looking straight ahead. "Because I care about you, Alana."

"You shouldn't. Not any more." As much as it pained her to say those words, it was true. She had done nothing but hurt him. The more she thought about him, which was often, the more she realized that he was too good for her. "I don't deserve it."

Now he did turn to her, examining her with a look of incredulity. "What are you talking about?"

"You can't just look at the good side of people, Karis. It's not realistic. We may be friends, but I've done bad things. Things I can't take back. People have died because of me, and you just forgive me? You don't have the right to do that!"

"We all make mistakes. That doesn't mean we can't learn from them and change our minds and right our wrongs. You may be the one who let Indigo out in the first place, but you're also the reason we got the Scepter back and they're going back behind bars. I know I'm not the only one who sees that!"

"I'm just scared, okay?" Alana whipped her head around toward him. Her eyes were like stained glass holding back a flood of tears. She blinked hard, then looked away again. "I'm scared of what the queen will say tomorrow. I said I would take any consequences, and I mean that, but I'm scared of what they'll be."