Final Call for Mercy

35

Nicolas

I feel like a failure.

Gabriel said street cameras were tampered with and there have been no signs of Anastasia anywhere. We found her phone near an alley a few miles from the place her guards were killed. Next to it was one of Emilio's pacifiers. It became clear: they were together and the objects were set up on purpose.

I nearly went on a rampage, and ditched everyone to look for her on my own, but Gabriel talked me down. Now Mateo has me on strict restriction. I can't leave Red Point at all. I saw the fear in the guards eyes as he gave the order, not wanting to cross my path if I decided I was leaving, but they nodded anyway. Mateo was the Boss right now. If they disobeyed, me killing them would be a mercy compared to what he'd punish them with.

So I was forced to help him deal with the allies. More and more came. An entire night passed. Martin came and a few other representatives of other countries. I was forced to sit through an uncomfortable chat with Ye-Jun and Mateo. Ye-Jun admires Anastasia and let us know a million times that if she needed help, he would be there.

His stares also let me know the offer in no way extended to me.

And I tried. Fuck, I tried. If I couldn't search for her, I figured I'd help hold down the fort for her. Have shit ready for when she struts in here and tells all these people what to do and when to do it.

But, now, as I stare at the wall of one of the makeshift bedrooms where most of the allies will be staying, I feel like a fucking failure because I couldn't even do that. I woke up pissy, and by the third hour of having her name mentioned like she owed them her appearance or like she was a thing of the past, I told Mateo I would like to kindly step away.

He hesitated until I told him that I was close to not-so-kindly ripping out their throats. He gave me the key to this room and here I've been for the past three hours.

I hate myself for it, but I can't help but fear that she'll come back like last time. All of last night my dreams were of that look in her eyes the last time she dragged herself out of hell. The disgust, the fear, the lack of recognition. I wondered if she'd hate me again and the thought itself made me want to throw up. It made me want to bolt out of this place and do something stupid and reckless to find her.

It took more self-restraint that I ever knew I had to not walk out that door. She's been gone for nearly a day. A full day. No god or luck or skill will save whoever took her when I find them.

My thoughts felt like they played aloud, bouncing around the room, crashing against the walls and hitting my body continuously. I felt like screaming, crying, killing someone all at the same time. They were loud enough that when the door opened and closed, I didn't hear a thing. Not until the bed sunk next to me.

I jerked back. My mind went blank, as though every thought got sucked out of my brain and hid away from the person next to me. Aera.

She was always a welcome sight, but right now I wanted to see only one person. But that wasn't her fault. I should have expected her to come seek me out, especially after I promised I would and never even bothered to try.

"Hey," she said softly. Just like when I lived in Seoul, her English words sounded suffocated by her Korean accent. It was endearing. "I was looking for you."

You found me. "I'm sorry," I sighed. I leaned forward, resting my arms on my knees. Her hand went to my back and I tensed for a moment before sighing again. "I've been sort of hiding in here."

She laughed softly and the sound worked like a tranquilizer to my bones. "I noticed. It took me some convincing and maybe a little blackmail for your guard to tell me where you were."