A quest for love

Sinking

~Japan's POV~
For months now I feel as though I've been slowly fading away and I don't know why. Since the day I appeared into this world I've been alone...I never had any friends or anyone to talk to other than the many emperors and rulers I've served. It wasn't until after world war ll that I was finally allowed to have my own free will and leave the same temple I had lived in my entire life...and by some twist of fate I was granted the friendship of two fellow countries that soon became my best and only friends in the world. Still to this day I love Germany and Italy but...they've been growing a little distant from me lately and I've watched them grow closer and closer as they leave me farther behind. To tell the truth it terrifies me...I know their my friends and they would never leave me but...well at least I hope they won't leave me....but...I'm scared...I don't want to be alone again...I can't be alone again. The sound of my Shishi Odoshi dropping against the smooth stone of the tranquil outdoor fountain snapped me out of my melancholy haze. How long have I been sitting here? I should probably go inside and get some work done.  I stood up and closed the shōji screen door behind me before going into my office and pulling out some paperwork, but before I could sit down I was interrupted by a loud knock on my front door.
"Japan! Are you home? Japannnn!" Italy called out to me from the outside and continued to knock rapidly on my door. I let out a sigh and put my papers back before making my way to the front door and opening it, "Italy I-" Before I could get another word out Italy pounced on top of me holding me tight. "Japan! I missed you so much I can't believe how long it's been!" I panicked and quickly grabbed hold of Italy's shoulders desperately trying to get him off of me. "I-Italy please your crushing me! I'm glad to see you too but please respect my boundaries" Italy frowned and got off of me and helped me up, "ve...I'm sorry Japan I forgot...I was just so happy to see you ya know?" I dusted myself off and adjusted the sleeve of my kimono.
"It's okay...I'm glad to see you too Italy...would you like some tea?" Italy smiled and hugged me again, "yes please! I'll take anything you give me"
I sighed and gave him a tiny smile before walking with him to the kitchen to prepare the tea.
"So what have you been doing hm?" Italy sat down at the Chabudai and struggled to sit on his knees. I hesitated and watched the tea boil nervously.
"Um...nothing really...I've been working I suppose"
"Oh that's boring...come on have you been dating anyone recently?" I looked at him shocked.
"What!? Date- no I haven't been dating anyone-"
"Whaaat!? But Japan your so cute there's no way you'd have a hard time finding a girlfriend"
"No...Italy I don't want a girlfriend-"
"A boyfriend then?" Feliciano cocked his head at me.
I felt my face turn red as the tea boiled, "no I don't want a boyfriend either! I don't want to date...people make me nervous" "ve~ but your so lonely here all by yourself..." You don't have to tell me something I already know...I sighed and walked over to him with the tea tray and set it down. "I can manage..."
Feliciano frowned and gave me a disbelieving look.
"No one likes to be alone- oh I know! We should set you up for online dating!" I stopped pouring Italy's tea and set the tea pot down, "online dating?"
"Yeah! It's a new thing that everyone's doing now a days! You just make a profile and then you get to choose who you want to go out with"
"I don't think I want that either..." I looked away from him and took a sip of tea. "Please Kiku?" Italy held my hands together against the warm teacup burning my hands slightly.
"I-Italy-" "kiku please...just try it? I don't want you to be alone forever you need to put yourself out there" I closed my eyes and trembled, "f-Feliciano please it burns-" "I know it burns kiku loneliness hurts! That's why I'm gonna help you-" "no Feli- the tea! Your hands it burns!" I pulled my hands away from him causing the hot tea to splash all over my kimono. I dropped the cup and blew on my hands cursing quietly under my breath; Italy gasped and ran over to my side, "japan I'm so sorry! Are you okay- let me see-" "no please...I'm okay really it wasn't hot enough to really burn me..." I wiped a small tear from my eye and stood up. Italy frowned and reached towards me slightly, "I'm going to go bathe and change my clothes...I'll be right back" I bowed and made my way to my bathroom and took my kimono off placing it in the dirty clothes basket. It really didn't burn me too bad but it really hurt...I bet Italy feels really bad now but it's not really his fault...I could have tried to be more clear with my words. I sighed and started the bath before looking at myself in the mirror, "online..dating..." I reached up and touched my face examining myself. I've never really thought about dating...but I'm not sure if I'd really be comfortable with it...just the idea of meeting up with a stranger and...telling them about my personal life just feels inappropriate.
Once I was finished with my bath I quickly got changed and went back to the living room and found Italy on his hands and knees cleaning up the tea spill from the floor. "Italy you don't have to-"
"No I want to...it's the least I can do for hurting you"
I frowned and sat next to him holding out my hands, "please...don't feel so guilty...look I'm not hurt see?"
Italy stopped and held my hands gently for a moment before smiling and hugged me tight.
"Ve!~ thank god I thought I really burned you!"
"I told you you didn't..." I felt myself blush as I leaned into the hug. "...Feliciano...do you really think I should try to do online dating?..." Italy's eyes sparkled and he moved to look me in the eyes.
"Yes. I think it could really help you." I hesitated and rested my head on Italy's shoulder, "okay...fine...how do we do it?" Italy smiled and let go of me holding his hands out to me. "Can I borrow your phone?"
"Uhm...sure?" I took my phone out from my pocket and placed it in his hands. After a minute he handed it back to me and sat next to me, "okay you need to make a profile, first you need to choose a few pictures of yourself and then you need to put your name! Unless you want to have a fake one"
"Why would I put a fake name?"
"I don't know some people just do" Italy shrugged.
"Okay...Now what?"
"Now you need to include things like your age and height, what you like and dislike- oh and put your sexuality"
"Se-sexuality? But I don't..." Italy frowned and gave me a stern look, "don't tell me you don't know what sexuality is, come on japan gay, straight, bi, pan what do you want?" I leaned away from him and stared at him intimated by his sudden attitude.
"I um...what's yours?..." Italy shrugged and sat back.
"I suppose I'm bisexual, I do like ladies but Germany is my one exception!" I looked back down at my phone and stared at the keyboard. "I um...I don't know what my preference is..." without hesitation Italy took my hand and pushed me down on the floor.
"Ah! Italy what are you!-" Italy had tears in his eyes.
"Wha...Italy what's wrong?-"
"I-I was saving myself for Germany but...if you want I-" I shoved my hand in his face pushing him off of me. "NO ARE YOU CRAZY! Even if I was gay I don't want to have sex with you!" Italy sat up and whimpered, "why not?" I buried my fave in my hands from embarrassment, "because we're friends and I want to keep it that way" Italy smiled and patted my head, "okay okay I'm sorry, look for now just put pansexual on your bio okay? You can always change it once you figure it out so for now just let the world know your open to try anything!"
"No im just not going to give myself a fake label"
"Hm...fine would you kiss someone who wasn't me?"
"I'm not kissing a stranger!"
"Not a stranger either, what if I asked someone we know? A man and a woman?"
"...no I don't want to waste my kiss on someone I don't love...look we can just skip the sexuality part for now until I figure it out..."
"Okay...well in that case your done, now is the easy part! You see this girl's profile?"
"Yes?...I can't make it go away"
"That's because you have to decide wether you like her or not, if you do swipe right and if you don't swipe left" I stared at the girl for a second before swiping left and a new person popped up on my screen. "Okay...so let's say I swipe right? Then what?" Italy held up his phone and pulled up the same app, "if you swipe right then you get to text that person and get to know them, once your comfortable you can plan an in person relationship and stuff like that" I felt my eyebrow twitch, "why do you have that?" Italy ignored my question and put his phone away, "so do you think you understand it now?" I nodded and looked down at my phone. Italy leaned closer and waited for me to swipe in a direction but his presence just made me uncomfortable. "Um...I think I'm going to do this later...when your not watching me"
"Awww okay..." Italy sighed and sat normally and looked at the time. "Kiku what time is it I don't understand your clock" I looked up at the clock and stood up, "it's almost six in the afternoon...I should make dinner if your staying"
"Oooh! Can we get those yaki- soapa bun things we had in Tokyo???"
"I suppose i can order them...and their called Yakisoba buns." Italy smiled and raised his fist in the air excitedly, "yakisoba!" I sighed and smiled, I'm feeling much better now that he's here...I suppose that's the only reason I put up with his antics.